Points to Ponder

I wasn't going to put this in my blog post about our shopping day because it is a bit of a downer for me. I can't stop thinking about it though. Something happened Saturday that broke a piece of my heart.

Robert and I went to Wilson's Leather to look at coats. There was a young man working there, he couldn't have been over 20. He was helping Robert with the coats. Robert and I were joking around with each other in our usual fashion. The boy said it was so great that we had that kind of relationship. He hadn't seen or heard from his parents in a year and a half.

He was raised Amish. When he decided to not live their lifestyle, they discommunicated him. To them, he is dead. I don't get this. I'm trying very hard not to be judgemental and I know you see this happen on tv shows but really?? I can't understand. I have been told and believe it to be true that there is no pain greater than loosing a child. I miscarried Robert's twin in the very early stages of my pregnancy. I never met this child, but am sure there will come a day when I will and I still have feelings about it. I couldn't live with myself knowing Robert was out there in the world and I truly didn't know if he were literally dead or alive.

The boy didn't dwell on it, he just made a statement and then went on about how much fun our day sounded.

I kept thinking about the peanut butter in Sarah's post. All the things that aren't tainted by society in the Amish world. I know these people goals are to live closer to God and maybe they have maintained the lifestyle all these years by being just that rigid but I keep thinking about the fact that God loved us with unconditional love and I believe whether we are living for him or not, he knows where we are. I also believe it is true that if we haven't chosen Christ as our Savior that we can't communicate with him but at the same time, there is never a time he doesn't know where we are and what we are doing.

I'm not meaning to start any quarrels and I am seriously not judging their lifestyle because yes, there are things I see them do that I know I would be better off if I lived closer to that ritual but this "if you don't live exactly as I live, I don't ever want to see you again" thing just blows my mind.

Robert, I am openly telling you, I love you, I think you are great and I love the decisions you have made with your life so far. If you ever start making decisions that I don't like, I WILL tell you about it, you know that but I will NEVER turn my back on you, no matter what. I promise.