Monday, May 25, 2015

Memorial Day, 2015

First and foremost, I want to give remembrance to those who have died serving our county. That is what this day is truly about. Although I am always thankful for those who have served, this day was originally set aside to remember those who died in the Civil War, it was to be observed on May 30th. This was the day you were to go to the cemetery and decorate their graves., hence the original "Decoration day". Even if you didn't have family members at the cemetery who had served, you decorated your loved ones graves. It is rumored that this was decided for this day because so many flowers would be in bloom at this time. In 1971, it was decided to change the date to the last Monday in May and call it Memorial Day, honoring all fallen soldiers. My mom still complains that "if we would celebrate it when we were supposed to". I always giggle a little at this, she doesn't like change. The thing is, up until that time, it was what it was, changing it to the last Monday in May did lend itself to that three day weekend celebration feel.

So, yes, it is a three day weekend, it is the unofficial start of summer, and it is a good time to see friends and family, let's just not forget why you have this day. In 2000, the National Moment of Remembrance was enacted. So, at least at 3:00 this afternoon, you should pause to give thanks for those who've gone before, so you have the freedom to be spending the rest of the day as a relaxing day. I am sure it means different things to different people and that is okay. If you have loved ones close to you that have died in action, by all means, I think you should be remembering them if that is what you want to be doing. Our family really does not, so my day is going to be spent working on projects that need done because I have the day off. My guys are working at the farm today.

This evening, we are cooking ribs on the grill and eating out on the newly cleaned off patio, if I get finished cleaning it and if the weather stays fit, that will be our Memorial Day.

I have been in a blogging mood, just haven't had time to get it down, I am looking for a better app for my pad to translate handwriting to typing. There are times, I would just like to jot down some thoughts, and so far, I haven't found the right combination.

As always, things have been a blur lately. Andrew's dad and his girlfriend came for a visit. I was in Springfield the first two days they were here, Andrew had multiple jobs going on and Robert was working so we mainly saw them of an evening. We normally try to do something at least one day while they are here, but there just wasn't the time. Maybe this fall when they come. This past Friday night I got some much needed friend time as one of my BFF's from High School came and had a sit on the porch. IT was so good to see Tammy and to catch up, wish we could do that more often. On Saturday, we went to Bloomington to celebrate my Uncle Kenny's 80th birthday. It was great seeing everyone and it was just a perfect day. My mom started out life with 3 living brothers and 3 living sisters (she had a brother and two sisters who died in childhood before she was born), it is now down to these 2. I treasure the time we get to spend with them and for them to get to spend with each other.

Robert got exciting news a couple of weeks ago that came to fruition this week, he no longer works on Saturdays. This is great because Andrew normally doesn't work at other people's houses on Saturdays unless he is pushing to get things done. This means now, most Saturdays can be spent on Robert's house. Not to mention the fact that Robert will now be driving to Charleston 5 days a week instead of 6 and making the same amount of money, that in itself was like getting a raise. He has been very involved in helping my mom with the gardening this year. This will all work out well because they won't try to get to the farm after work during the week now, they will concentrate on Saturdays for that, and Robert and Mom can work in the garden; so it's good for all of us that this happened. It is on a trial basis through the summer so we are all really hoping it stays this way.

Andrew has been keeping busy, not quite as busy as we would like but for the business just being 9 months old, I don't think we can complain. We had our first yard sale, which went well. We are doing the national road yard sale this coming weekend in Greenup and then whatever didn't sell from that we are pretty much tossing and starting over. I am looking at having a yard sale once a month through the summer. We have so much junk to get rid that I know we can do one a month and have different stuff. I haven't even started on my own attic yet.

I am getting ready to go to Springfield again tomorrow for a LIHEAP Action day. We are taking all the fieldworkers to the Capitol to stand up for our program. We had two bills that directly affect our agency, one was passed last Thursday, and the other one has been given the runaround. We feel it has to be up for vote by Friday, last day of session, or we will lose ground.  I also have a huge amount of computer work to get done in the next couple of weeks. I have 5 new computers that need installed in our office, not to mention the day-in, day-out work of PIPP and the fact that I will probably need to have my implementation plan to the state by the middle of June. I haven't even looked at it yet. Busy, busy, busy.

I am working on a bucket list for the summer. It technically should be finished today but the day is already starting to get away from me, so it may have to be in the works for a few days, once again, a good script to type or a better talk to type would help me immensely.

So, here goes the day.

Happy Memorial Day.



Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Deep Thoughts

Do you ever have a memory stored away and just know you remembered it correctly only to find out it was wrong? I have had that happen this week and it bugs me....on many different levels. The memory happened 30 years ago and itself is not important. It just gets me that my brain had transferred the whole ordeal to a different person. I don't know why and that is what brings me to the title.

Do you remember those people in your life you couldn't fathom going 24 hours without talking to? Do you still go less than 24 hours without talking to them? If no, what happened? I have been thinking a lot about how people move in and out of our lives. There have been people in my life that I thought would always be there, and then they weren't. And then they are back. I hate to think I have started having a hard time with change but apparently I have. I tend to over-think the what if's and the why's. Why did we go our separate ways in the first place, why can't I remember when that happened and worst yet, am I going to get burned if I start letting them into my life again?

Earlier this year, in one day, I was faced with not one but two of those people. I actually came home and cried. Somehow, I had went for years without this bothering me but it being slammed in my face seemed to wake me up. Thanks to facebook, we had rekindled some kind of mutual acquaintanceship but these were people that at one point in my life, knew my deepest, darkest secrets, my thoughts, my fears, everything about the real me. And now we are reduced to less than Christmas card exchangers. It made me think about all of my earlier life friends. One particular relationship I am assuming we had one more bad day that we did good. This was actually an old boyfriend and I can't help but hear the Garth song about some of God's greatest gifts being unanswered prayers. The only thing is, they weren't unanswered, God said no and somehow I guess one or both of us didn't care enough to ask if He was sure. That is the only boyfriend relationship that I can't remember the ending, I don't remember a blow-up (though there were several of them!), or being thrown against a tree (yes, it happened), or finding out the guy had two classrings, and indeed, two steady girlfriends (oh yes, that one happened too), or that he wanted to date someone else, (yep, this one too complete with telling me who it was--my cousin, no less and it was priceless, he didn't know she was my cousin OR that she was engaged, he just wanted to find her and see what she would say, needless to say--I let him. lol. ) or finding out later that he decided he wasn't into girls (twice).  I guess now I wish I had a more cut and dried answer for that one relationship as well as some of the others of my friendships that ended instead of the shoulder shrugging "we just aren't close anymore" and then to the "I haven't talked to them in years", but my question is still why and why can't I remember?

This all made me think of this poem:

People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a dificulty…
To provide you with guidance and support…
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…
They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die…
Sometimes they walk away…
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…
Their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.
Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life…
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime
~ unknown author

Before anyone reads anything into any of this I know one thing for sure: when Andrew and I went on our first date, all of the other failures made sense.  Between the above mentioned boyfriend and Andrew, I actually got engaged. I wanted so badly for that to be right at the time, but somewhere deep down, I just couldn't make myself accept it. Again, when Andrew came along, it all made sense. He was the one God made for me, and I waited it out and he waited it out, and we got to be together. I thank God for that daily.

 In closing, I just want to say to all of those out there that still have their BFF's close, keep them there. I would give anything in the world if we didn't have these big gaps of seeing each other with my friends from high school and since we aren't used to making time for each other, it is hard to schedule things now. I have friends now and I like hanging around with them but I always go back to that line from Stand by Me. I know I've quoted it before but it never gets old to me: I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve.

So, if you were in my life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, know that I treasured that time, and if you are in my life now, I hope that I do a better job of letting you know how important you are to me.

M













Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Blessings

Good morning from Springfield!

Day 2 of our annual IACAA conference, which means Sunday night was our Family of Distinction Banquet. The banquet was good as always, lots of people making it because our agencies believed in them. Helping People, Changing Lives.

Our own award recipient couldn't come. He first came into our offices for assistance because the factory he was working at closed. Through our programs, he got his CDL license, was in Wyoming to see his sons and was offered a job by a trucking company out there! So, on top of everything else, he now gets to be with his family!

I love happy endings.



If you are with me on facebook, you know I love skylines too, I am on the 25th floor this time, and I always manage to get in room 1,2, 17, or 18. I love this because you can see the Capitol out all of those windows. Normally, when I am here, I wonder about the law process, knowing that what I do each day is to help change lives, but knowing what THEY do definitely changes lives. I still can't believe that the past two weeks, I have been inside that building, participating in the process. It is so incredibly humbling to me that God would let me have this life. I truly do feel like we made a difference. Helping People, Changing Lives.

I am posting a picture of the night skyline as well. I had sent a picture of my view to Andrew on Sunday evening, he showed it to my mom and Mom told him about me always watching the lights. I think watching the world go by might be as relaxing to me as some people sitting on the beach. One time, when one of my uncles was in the hospital at Barnes, in St. Louis, we got a room in Queeny Towers, it was either on the top floor or very close. Of course, the interstate ran right in front of Barnes. There was about a 12 inch ledge on the inside of our window. I laid on that ledge and watched the traffic for hours. So, I spent each evening just sitting for at least a half hour, watching the world go by. Still mesmerizes me, but still makes me incredibly thankful that God lets me do what I do.

Today is the last day of the conference, in fact, for the first time in a long time, I don't know if I will be back in Springfield at all this month, more than likely yes, but I have nothing scheduled yet. Wait and see.

As we personally are learning to adjust to the ins and outs of owning our own business, the biggest adjustment is to worrying that Andrew won't have jobs. I get pretty scared, and pretty down even though I try not to. Gone (at least for a while) are the days when if I didn't feel like cooking, we just went out. I truly wish I would have had more discipline then and not spent the money, but life is a learning process and so I lived and I have learned.  I always used to budget every penny, and I still did even after things got easier, I just didn't stick to it like I probably should have. A few weeks ago, Randy Black spoke at our church, and preached on God's grace being sufficient. He kinda blew a whole thing for me because I had always thought I would write an entire book on when God says no. Randy blew the whole idea because that book can be summed up in 4 little words: "My grace is sufficient". So, Sunday morning as I was reading (after paying bills on Saturday morning), I came across 2 Corinthians 12. Lo and behold, there it was, My grace is sufficient. Then yesterday morning, I thought I was on Chapter 13 and was on 12, so He said it to me again. I get the picture. Once again, I know we are going to be just fine.

So, now I am packed and ready for the final day and then to head toward home. I've learned some things at the conference, but I've learned a lot in that quiet down-time I've had here in my room this week.

Happy Tuesday!