Tossing the bucket list

I am NOT a quitter but I know when I have to concede that I have too much on my plate. That time has come so to relieve undo stress on myself I am tossing out my fall bucket list. When I made it, I wasn't expecting some of the events in my life that has happened over the past few weeks to happen. A LOT has changed and I don't want a repeat of last Christmas where I was sick and probably mostly due to stress. So, it's gone, we aren't going to worry about it anymore.

I still have several goals to reach, number 1 is to get the Estate stuff for my uncle all finished up before Christmas. That is the main reason I am scrapping "the list". It seems every time I turn around there is something else to think of, remember, take care of. Yesterday it was cancelling the car insurance. I am kicking myself because I should have done that two weeks ago and didn't even think about it until I had two of the cars sold. Hopefully Monday or Tuesday an auto auction company will come and pick up the two cars which means I have to meet them, give them the titles, a copy of the will showing I really have authority to do this and the keys. I will be glad when this is over. Robert and Mom are loading up MOST of the rest of the hogs this morning. We will be down to three sows and 10 babies after today.

I am also downsizing Christmas again this year. I have the mantle done and hope to have the tree up by the end of the day. I will go upstairs and get my Christmas floral arrangement for the coffee table in the living room as well as the baskets of pine cones, sticks and the poinsettia tree for in front of the fireplace. I will change the table cloth because Mom bought herself one at Goodwill and it was way too big for her table and it is beautiful and I plan to put my garland on my porch outside and I think I will call it done. I am just not in the mood this year and the fact is, nobody is coming until Christmas eve around 10 and then they will be leaving around 10 the next morning. My guys couldn't care less and so I believe I just think I have to do what I have to do to keep up with what a person is supposed to do. Anyway, hopefully by the day's end, my decorating will be done.

Honestly, I feel like I am depressed, I'm not really excited about anything right now. I think just getting through the rest of this year and getting on with a new start will be a good thing.