Life

So, I know I've been quiet lately, it's not that anything about my life has felt quiet. In fact, yesterday, I apparently had a "decompression"; and it was a good thing.

On the work front, the end is in sight for all the extra work of the propane. I was hoping to have everything ready for the extra payments to be paid this week but I have several vendors who have not gotten their registers back to me so I am thinking things should be final the first week in March. We sent out letters to all the clients this week letting them know that they were receiving the extra money. This created lots of extra phone calls, many to say thank you, that was nice. I am worried about those same people though next month. I believe most of them were trying to find ways to conserve. Running space heaters is expensive. I am afraid the same people are going to have crazy electric bills this month, sadly, we have done everything we can do.

On the IT front, I did get one new computer installed this last week and went and got another one on Friday that I am afraid is going to have to be replaced. We are starting work on another project at work. One of those things that will be nice when it's done, but kinda scary when people are counting on you to know how to do things. A lot of times I'm on the "learn as you go" plan, but I don't make any bones about it and don't try to act like I know what I know I don't, so I'm sure it will be okay. I still get unnerved about the email. I will go to check my email here at home and will have made a typo putting in the address and my page comes up not available....it still makes my heart skip a beat. So far, things haven't been too bad with it though, we will just keep praying it through.

 On the health front, I believe I am truly back to 100%, I tried to run a week ago tomorrow with not so good results, I'm going to do it again in the morning and really expect things to be fine. I have gained about 6 more lbs because of the 3 weeks of prednisone (it was supposed to be 4, I slashed a couple days off each dose though and did fine). So, tomorrow morning, back to the treadmill, tomorrow night, back to weight watchers. I have also come to the conclusion the hair needs to go. I have an appointment in March for a cut and color but I think I am going to see if there is any way Jeanne can get me in tomorrow evening after weight watchers. I am starting to look "frumpy".

So, I am back to having a clean house and my organized life, yea me! I can't STAND my house being messed up but I tried to nurse myself back to health without a hospital stay and I did it, so now I know I MUST make myself just rest when the UC thing happens. I joined a UC support group on facebook, they ALL said the same thing. Unfortunately, I "unjoined" it, most of the UCers on there are old timers, so many of them say "Medicine worked for the first 10 years, then it quit, now I have a bag". I can't handle that prospect yet and I think attitude and faith always play a huge part in healing. I am afraid if I start having the attitude that this is going to happen, I may let something happen that had I had the attitude that I won't let it happen and I will trust God to help me with that, maybe I can be the exception, not the rule. Anyway, I truly did walk away. I feel a little guilty because there were a lot of people who are just being diagnosed, wanting to know, "is it normal that my hair is falling out?" "Do you get the feeling you are bleeding to death?" "What stops the pain?". I have answers for those, but I would sit and cry reading some of the stories and it just put me in a bad place. You gotta do what you gotta do. If you know of anyone who has been recently diagnosed with UC, I am happy to share with them, I have been there since 2011, it took until January 2013 for me to go even a week without bleeding and worrying about having an accident, but I did get my life back. I would love to talk to them, but I would also love for them to see Dr. Peterson.

Anyway, enough about that. I have a picture of progress on Robert's house!

His bedroom and the guest room are about 100% subfloored with all new floor joists under them!  He also has the wood stove installed and working properly. They are getting ready to move the wall between the two rooms. The original wall was not centered on a joist, they are making the guest room 8 inches bigger north to south. They will eventually knock out the wall where the pantry/ walk thru closet down making Robert's room (Grandma's bedroom) bigger. They are making the wall between the living room and both bedrooms expand out into the living room, giving both rooms a space for closets (there was no closet in the north room). Lots of little things we are taking for granted, like the fact they fixed the toilet so he has a working bathroom! Things are coming along, I still think it will be August before it's finished but I can actually see him moving in late spring, early summer and just continue to work while living there.

And then, the latest of what is going on, it's coming up Grand Prix time, for the second year in a row, guess what is set up in my living room/ dining room?

Yep, it's the track, I guess I'm  happy it will fit in my living room, NOT!!  Oh well, the race is March 15th. Andrew is putting all new electronics on it, the kicker....it's ALL computerized, which means I'm going to have to learn new software sometime in the next couple of weeks.

So, I guess I am ready to face yet another starting over point, that's going to be in the morning. As for my "decompression" yesterday. I have had so much on my mind for so long that I have had to admit lately that I have even been a distracted driver. I didn't put it on here at the time, but back in November, I wrecked a company car. I was in Paris, totally spacing the fact that I was on a one way street and turned left from the right lane. I hit the car beside me. I obviously got the ticket and doing some soul searching, realized I had a thousand things on my mind. Yesterday I went to Tuscola, all by myself. On the way up, I had to FORCE myself to stop thinking about work, my friends, Robert, and just try to relax. I had my Sirius XM the message on and decided to really think about each song coming on. Wow, of course, God sent "Already There" by Casting Crowns and Mercy Me's "Homesick" so I was crying on my way up. At the same time, I felt such a great sense of Peace. I could just see God saying "FINALLY!!!, I've been trying to tell you to "be still" and you just couldn't seem to do it.  I kept thinking about my dad. When I was little, he would be lying on the couch just trying to relax and I would be running around a million miles a minute. He would say, "Mindy, just relax!!" my reply: "Dad, I AM relaxing!!". I don't seem to do the slowing down thing well, even when I am "relaxing" I don't turn my mind off. A couple of weeks ago, I had a real battle with Him. He would tell me to stop worrying about things, and my immediate reply was "YOU made me this way, MAKE me stop worrying". We went round and round about that, but yesterday it all came to a head. That trip to Tuscola was probably the best thing for my well being that I had done in a while.

So, tomorrow morning starts yet another new day, a new week and a new chance to have an awesome week. I do have awesome weeks. Even when things are crazy I have this great life and I don't even know how to begin to thank the Lord for it.

I even have the kitchen cleaned up BEFORE evening church! Haha

Happy Sunday all, and may you have a great week!!

Love

What a week!!! Talk about a series of ups and downs! I feel like I have been on a roller coaster of gigantic proportions. Of course, I have talked a lot lately about the propane shortage and how it is effecting our clients. Monday morning I got to start pledging the extra $1,000 payments. Though it has been hectic, it has been so great to be such a blessing to people. Lots of "God Bless You"s, lots of not believing it was real, lots of gratitude. It has been humbling. There is some saying about doing things for others that can't do anything for you in return. I received a lot of return this week, believe me. Thursday was the day of tears. I had several older ladies who called and seriously cried. It was a long day for me because when someone else cries, I cry too. My UC is getting better, and I still don't want to face that it has a lot to do with stress, this weeks dose of work stress was so much better than the last couple.

Meanwhile, in my little facebook world, I was being faced with some things that really had me questioning a lot of things. I was seeing a lot of meanness, if that's a word, if it's not, I'm sure you can figure it out. I am a Christian, I am hoping and praying that I don't have to TELL you that for you to KNOW it, but I am a Christian. I have seen a lot of other friends of mine, who I consider Christians bashing not only other people but other Christians this week. I find it very sad and it has caused "but the greatest of these is love" to swirl in my mind over and over and over and over. I have been reading through Be Amazed, a study of the Minor Prophets and point was made that I also can't get out of my head. If you are driving down the highway, let's say, to paint the picture, you are in St. Louis, driving down the one of the highways that have 4 or 5 lanes, you are getting ready to get off at an exit and this car swoops in from the left and cuts you off, causing you to miss your exit. Was it wrong? Yes, Did it hurt you that someone was mean to you? Yes. Now, let's say you are a parent, you just found out your 9-year-old has lied to you. Was it wrong? Yes, Did it hurt you that he lied to you? Yes. Did it mean more to you than the driver who cut you off? Yes. So....we all know sin is sin but if a Christian sins, do you think it hurts God more? Did you ever see Jesus be mean to unsaved people? No, lots of time he dined with them, creating all kinds of havoc from people who were trying to look good, but Jesus knew their hearts.

  But the greatest of these is love.

I do not openly tell my stance on fb of where I stand on a lot of big issues. I am a Christian so I am sure most assume they know where I stand and there is a good possibility they are correct. However, I would rather talk about things like this on a one-on-one basis. I have tried hard over the years to judge less and love more. If I don't just put a blanket statement over something, it gives me a chance for one-on-one dialog, if I make a statement to someone who truly doesn't understand where I am coming from, all I have done is shut the door on me ever being able to effectively help someone through something, should they ask. Let's face it, I am a sinner. I have one of those sins I carry around with me. Some people don't like that I think being fat is a sin. For me, being fat is a sin. FOR ME. When God says he has made my body a temple and that is where he lives, I should be taking better care of it and it is very clear to see that at least several times a week, I place my love of food over my love of God....once again, that's me. I truly do not believe that of you, I believe it of me. This is something I will keep working out with God because truly, there are times in the week that I am crazy stressed and head for the kitchen to find comfort, when I should head to God. Anyway....that's getting repetitive.

I also don't drink. I don't judge people who drink, I don't get in on the bandwagon of whether or not wine in the Bible is wine of nowadays or grape juice. I know for me, when I was younger I did drink. I know it didn't magically make me drunk after the 5th sip, I know it started with the first one for me. I know I'm supposed to be sober minded and I know alcohol and I can't do that. My friends, especially my friends at work, who are the ones who have occasion to be around me where there are events that involve drinking can attest to the fact that it is about me, not them. They always know they have a driver and that I can sweet talk a waiter into a glass of tea, and that they have two extra free drinks because I give away my tickets. I know there are probably some Christians out there that think I am wrong in not taking a stand in this, but it simply isn't my place.

But the greatest of these is love.

So, I just decided to try an experiment this morning.....I am one of those people who knows the Bible says this or that and can only remember the reference about half the time. I trust this website called Biblegateway.com. I went there this morning and typed in Love One Another, I used NIV just because it is in an easier to read format. Here is what I came up with...



So then, just for fun, I erased the word love and typed in judge, so it read judge one another:

Kinda made it wide open that the judgment thing is God's job. I think our job is to love one another....

but the greatest of these is love.

I have watched my friends bash each other over things for quite a while now. The first time it started bothering me was a few weeks ago. I was watching the latest episode of NCIS and the ending song just really struck me. I looked up the words, and the song and it is now on my playlist. Ironically, I have been thinking about this post all week and last night, at the very close of the Olympics, there was that song again. 

So, I will share.

So that's it, I'm off my soapbox, as Robert asked me last night, as we were discussing this on our way to dinner. Am I a little nervous posting this? Yes, Do I mean it to be judging anyone, nope. I mean it as how I feel right now. Is you telling me I'm wrong going to change my mind? Probably not.  I just hope that it will wake some people up that maybe by being so outspoken, they are shutting doors, where our jobs are really to be to help open doors. Think Twice, Speak Once.

 We are love....

but the greatest of these is love.

Valentine's Day is next Friday, it seems like we go through the whole Christmas season trying to be nicer, maybe we should try February too, and March, and April.....

Happy Saturday everyone.

Yeah I know

that I need to post a blog update. I have a lot swirling around in my head right now that I would like to get down in print. However, the old adage, think twice, speak once is coming to light a lot and I have to decide what is really worth saying. I feel I have kinda been attacked on fb lately because what I consider a positive outlook on life, the life God has given me, and intends for me to live, has been taken for bragging. I am not bragging, and lots of things go wrong in our lives too, but why dwell on that when we have been handed so much good. This may be all I say about that or I may expand this into a post. As I said, still thinking. Not posting this little tidbit to fb so my diehard readers (all like 3 of you) will see this. 

On the healthfront, slowly but surely, I am thinking I will try to do a light workout tonight, haven't done anything for exactly 2 weeks and as much as I never thought I would say it, I miss it.

On the workfront, everything is starting to fall into place with our propane issues so that may be a glance in the rearview before too long.

Happy Thursday!

Tunnel Vision

I have no other words for the last two weeks than I feel I am in a really long tunnel. Between work and this STUPID UC, my world is a little, more like a lot, upside down.

Two weeks ago today I was reading some energy industry news updates and seeing that the Midwest was in fear of a real propane shortage with the frigid, single digit temps we were continuing to have. I know most people really don't understand everything I do with my job but bottom line, when it comes to the energy assistance side of my job, I try to stay ahead of the crisis to keep our client's families safe. You've heard the adage, "poor people have poor ways". Been there, done that, and when you are faced with no alternatives, you do what you have to do. I worry that my clients who are out of propane will try to use outdated, old heaters, make something makeshift, or try something just because they have no other alternatives. Of course, we had a holiday on the Monday and I took more time to research that yes, it was going to be a long week, especially since many days, the high was to be 9°.

Tuesday morning, when I got to work, I started calling my propane vendors, yep. What I didn't want to hear. Limiting deliveries to 200 gallons, may run out completely between getting trucks back into the area and prices were going to have to skyrocket to pay for all the transportation. It was not going to be a fun week.

We toughed through a lot of stuff and in the meantime, started hearing from our constituents at the state that they were working on plans to help. That in itself gave me some relief.

Then on the 24th, my UC decided to rear its ugly head though and that added fuel to the fire. I absolutely did not have time to be sick. I had a hair appointment Saturday morning, ran and got the stuff I absolutely had to have from Walmart and came home and sat. When I was in the hospital last year, that was my Dr's biggest thing, get some rest. So I was trying. Sunday I went to church, came home and did the exact same thing. On Monday I called the doctor and asked if I should start back on prednisone, the answer was yes so I was hoping to see some improvement by Wednesday. Thursday, I thought I was getting better. Thursday night, I was seriously wishing I could die. Needless to say, I have done nothing of an evening all week. I can't stand when my house is messed up and it is, though I spent most of the day yesterday resting, I did at least straighten up the family room, living room and dining room, partially the kitchen and Robert carried the laundry up and down for me so it is done. Today, I am staying home from church with every thought being on just resting. I will get my desk cleaned off sometime today. But with the guys home and their willingness to help me, I think we can have the house presentable for another week. Hopefully this "resting" thing will make this week better with the UC because I have to be at work this week, have to.

Back to the bigger issue though, the propane. Last Tuesday afternoon, we had a conference call with the rest of the LIHEAP Coordinators throughout the state and the Department of Commerce and Economic Opportunity, the ones who issue our grants. I felt so much better after that call because it sounded like we were all on the same page and we were going to be able to get our clients the right help. Friday we got the official notice that everything was to fall into place tomorrow. I made the statement to some on Friday that I drive 20 minutes home from work, from Greenup to Newton, along that way are many houses, almost all of them fueled with propane, including the towns of Hidalgo, Rose Hill and Falmouth. Most of the people who live in those houses I have known my entire life, some of them are clients, some of them are friends and some of them are family. Knowing that we were seriously seeing the light at the end of this tunnel did make that drive much more easy.

Here is a link to the press release of what we are doing.
http://www3.illinois.gov/PressReleases/ShowPressRelease.cfm?SubjectID=1&RecNum=11899


So tomorrow morning we start giving bigger payments to our propane clients, I have already been asked how the other clients are going to handle this, my answer is simply "if your gas would get to $6.00 a unit, we would find a way". There are so many differences there though. We have two "national" propane companies, the rest are small mom and pop's, or coops. They simply do not have the means to take someone propane if they know they aren't going to ever see the money and let's look at that, 200 gallons of propane at the national average of $4 a gallon is $800, what you normally pay for almost twice as much propane, which means in half as much time, you are going to need even more. We have safeguards in place for many electric and gas companies that they either agree not to shut off at all in the winter or that they won't shut off if the weather is below 32°, you just don't have that with propane, you can't magically tell the tank not to run out of gas.

Today, I am praying for the rest of my family as they go to church this morning, we have a blanket of snow and ice on the ground so Andrew is on his way to my mom's to get her for church. My guys will be home this afternoon and everyone will focus on resting. Tonight the guys will go back to church and then I will probably be stuck after church watching the DVR of the Superbowl. I only ever watched for the commercials and most of them have already been leaked so I guess my big thing is finding out what happened to the poor yellow M&M.

The brightest little tidbit that happened this week is I got approval to go to the National Energy and Utility Affordability Conference in June. It is in Kansas City this year so I am taking Andrew and hoping to go see Grandma Virginia the weekend after the conference. I love this conference because as stated at the first of this post, I love being able to have the knowledge to really help our clients, this conference gives lots of good information. I normally have gotten to go every other year so was really pleased I get to go with it being so close.

Happy Sunday everyone, it sounds like we are in for a real winner of a week weather wise so stay safe.