We had a bad week in the Browning house. Robert has had some hard lessons learned this week and I had to fight him on it all the way. Turns out Mom was right and Robert was wrong. Bottom line, Robert is not singing anything in the pops concert- why? Because he worked on a song, then last weekend he screwed his voice up between the football game and the band competition. Wednesday the day he was supposed to try out, he was mad at me and didn't think he was up for it emotionally so he told her he didn't have his CD. Thursday he really DIDN'T have his CD. Then, when what he really wanted to do was to emcee, he didn't work at that either and didn't find someone to do a skit with until the last minute. It didn't fool anybody. Lessons learned. Not easy on Mom, when half of me wants to hug him and tell him I am sorry and half of me wants to say "I tried to tell you". Robert has had this thing with getting things his way even when he shouldn't have. He has FINALLY gotten old enough for people to expect him to earn what he gets and I don't think he is adjusting well. I debated about whether to even put this on the blog, but somewhere down the line, somebody may be running into the same thing, just wanted you to know this "Mom thing" has conflicting days even when the kid is almost grown.
He also went to the oral surgeon on Monday, his Christmas vacation is going to be spent recovering from having his wisdom teeth removed. Mine went from vacation time to sick time, because I don't think being at home with him is going to feel like a vacation. We are all getting wisdom teeth for Christmas. The receptionist handed me the bill, our dental insurance does not have Dr. Jenssen on their network. They want their money the day of the surgery, all $2004 of it. Wonder if we could get matching necklaces made out of the teeth??
To top everything off, I am trying to balance too many things and have had to spend this week admitting it. I am in charge of selling the old uniforms for the band, when we started talking about selling them at the fall festival, I said I thought it was a great idea but I wouldn't have time to take off work on Friday. Thursday morning, we were still looking for workers for Friday (Thank you Vaneta, Michelle and Glenna for filling in the gaps!). I had a list a mile long at work of things that needed done and I knew, I really knew that by Thursday night, I would be in tears. I also knew that my time wouldn't be my own until at least 8:00, so I didn't "have time" for a breakdown until at least 8:00. Shortly after 8:00, I hear the band and yell at Andrew that I thought they were marching down Washington. We took out of the house to go watch and listen. Sure enough, they were getting ready for today's parade. They looked really good. They turned around and went by again. When they were all the way past, they did a roll off and started playing, it was really, really GOOD!!! I love their parade song this year! And that was it, tears started running down my face. Andrew was like, "What is wrong", I said I told you this was going to happen, it just needs out. I just need to cry." By the way, Julie Matson, THANK YOU for telling Andrew last night it just a woman thing! I feel a little less crazy.
So, I am realizing this is not my normal "Life is Wonderful" post and I also know tons of people are going to be reading this and tons more that I don't even know follow the blog. Sorry about the downer, I am secretly hoping that just by putting it down in words, it will all go away.
I went to a book signing of Dave Pelzer's (The Boy Called It) once. Someone asked him how he handled carrying around all that resentment. He told them he had not resented any of it for a long time. He tells his story to let people be aware and to help others. He said something to the effect, "if you carry around all your troubles, it gets to being like going to the bathroom in a bag, then tying the bag around your neck, after a while, nobody wants to be around you because you reek of bad stuff". I am hoping this is now behind us and we can have a great day. So, if you see me uptown today, I hope and pray you see the cheerful, happy me you are all used to.
Happy Saturday!
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