It has been a while since I have posted one of those "here's mine, what's yours" post. I can't even explain what work has been like since the first of July. I try very hard not to feel guilty when my clients call and want to know what they are supposed to do. I haven't slept well, to say the least. Tuesday afternoon, I took off early, mainly because I had big company at work Monday and I had been nervous about that, and then we had VBS, so Tuesday morning, I felt a little like I had been hit by a Mack truck. Anyway, I took off Tuesday afternoon with the intent of listening to a friend of mine testify before the House of Representatives and then take a nap before Tuesday night's Bible school. Ended up, Jen didn't start her testimony until 2, along with 2 clients from other agencies and Dalitso, our Association's president. They didn't get done until after 3, they did a great job, and I was floored by all the questions--that's a good thing though.
Anyway, I didn't end up taking a nap. Tuesday night, I was finally tired enough though, I slept, and I slept so well that I dreamed. I don't remember dreaming forever. If I have ever even met you, you were more than likely in that dream. I couldn't believe how many people I saw that night, how many people were brought to mind that I hadn't thought of for years.
And there were the weird things, like worlds colliding. I dreamed I was sitting on a bench in the mall in Mattoon. I was sitting there with Sally Furry. Sally and I first met when I worked at the Dairy Queen, in 1986. She helped me get my job at Walmart in 1989 and though we went a while without seeing each other, thanks to facebook, we at least know we are both alive and well. The mall was busy, very busy---that is an oddity all by itself, and then there was a conga line running through it. This is where all of you come in. It was crazy long, Susan Shull and Debbie Diel were leading it. Some people say you don't dream in color.....I dream in color. Susan and Debbie were wearing the brightest colored outfits that I had ever seen. In typical style for them though, they both looked like they stepped out of a magazine. I DO know why I saw those two, I had been reading about their trip abroad and enjoying getting to see Italy through their eyes. Brenda McDade, my boss until she retired, was in the line too, she came and hugged me and Sally like she hadn't seen us in a million years (I'm not sure if Brenda and Sally even know each other that well in real life, Sally did go to school with Brenda's son Mike). If I was trying to interpret my dream, that probably has some deep meaning about all that is going on and me wondering if I am really capable of everything I need to be doing at work and wondering if it would be better if Brenda was back. But who knows, as I said, there were people I hadn't even thought of for years, it was actually kind of cool, but has gotten me in a nostalgic mood.
I took off work early yesterday too, I was going to work on my basement but Mom had three tubs of tomatoes that needed worked up and I wanted to make spaghetti sauce so I spent the afternoon in my kitchen. Ever since the night of the dream, I have been craving Steve Winwood music. So, I pulled up my Rhapsody account and started playing one Winwood song after another...The Finer Things, Back in the High Life, Arc of a Diver, and on and on.
I am one of those people who tacks a song to a memory or a memory to a song, not sure which. But here is a list of some of my favorite memories/ songs, as of right this moment anyway.
Chicago: Hard Habit to Break--this song reminds me of my Senior speech class. I loved speech and if I would have attacked every class like that one, I would have had straight A's. Anyway, for our final, we had to give a 25 minute speech. We could use any kind of prop or other media for up to 10 minutes. My speech was on our class, the Class of 1985. When I told Mrs. Wiman what I wanted to do, she said it was fine, but if I shed one tear, she would flunk me, especially when I told her what my media was. I played 10 minutes of things that happened our Senior year, from the announcements, to just noise in the hallway, to a blurb, "Newton Marching Eagles, you may take the field for competition", to some of the songs that was popular at the time. This was going to be the song that I knew I had to make it through without crying. What was worse was, it truly did make others in our class cry. I didn't though. I never knew how much public speaking would be a part of my life but to this day, I know better than to cry, I told some pretty personal stuff about myself and my childhood last year at a meeting, but I didn't cry. Oh, and one last memory. David Casey was supposed to be the time keeper, our speech was to be 25 minutes long, with a little leeway on each side, I can't remember how much. My speech was exactly 25 minutes, and I will never forget hearing David say it was.
REO Speedwagon- Can't Fight This Feeling--I was working at the Dairy Queen and it was the summer of 1989. I hadn't worked there very long when a tall husky blond headed guy came in with this much older woman. We started talking immediately about how much he looked like Bruce Hall. So, Dibber, who waited on him, told him, he looked just like Bruce Hall. He laughed, as did the little, older lady that was with him. He said he was Bruce Hall. Turns out his grandma lived in Greenup and he would come down every so often to see her. They came in for lunch about every time he came down. A friend of mine, Tony McMorris, mowed this grandma's yard and ended up with tickets and back stage passes to their show at Shelbyville. Tony couldn't go so he gave the tickets to his sister, Heather and me. That was probably one of my favorite concerts ever. Bruce came over and treated us like he had known us forever.
Bryan Adams--Everything I Do. The summer before Andrew and I got married, I spent a lot of time with several people from Walmart. I was going through the aftermath of a major breakup with a guy that I had dated for over a year and knew it would never go any farther than it had gone and it was time to cut the cord. I also was going through having a major crush on a member of management that I knew I couldn't date. One of the guys I worked with was going through a lot of things too and all of our friends had significant others so we decided to spend the summer un-dating. We were friends and it was great, no expectations, but someone to go do things with when everyone else was in pairs. One night that summer, we went to see Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, this song was the love theme. I absolutely fell in love with the song. The crush didn't let up and things started happening with my job so I ended up in a different store, As soon as I did, that crush, now my husband, asked me out. Everything I Do played at the restaurant on our first date and it became our song. I have totally lost track of my un-dating friend, Ray Fread, but he was in that conga line too, I'm sure people who I haven't seen for a long time would appreciate this dream because they all looked like they did the last time I saw them. I ran into Ray at an auction probably 20 years ago, he still looked the same then, so he looked 25 or so in my dream. Sorry to those of you I see regularly, you just looked like you.
Tears for Fears--Everybody Wants to Rule the World. This too reminds me of my senior year, yearbook and Marc Alblinger. Funny, Marc was one of those friends too, that guy friend you could talk to but didn't think anything further about it. Yet another reason I love facebook. Marc travels-- a lot, and I love seeing all the places he and his wife have been. The one place, out of ALL the places he's been, that I am most envious of is, believe it or not; Broadway to see Wicked. I'm gonna do that one of these days, Part of me says it won't surprise me if I end up in Greece, or Italy, or someplace someday, but I know I will make it to see Wicked on Broadway. Anyway, I heard this song today and it always reminds me of Marc. He introduced me to Tears for Fears before they were popular here because of his overseas connections. He bought me this album for graduation, I'm sure my mom even knows every word to every song because it was played constantly that summer.
I have so many more, but it is almost 10 and Andrew has already went to bed, so I best be heading that direction. Nice to take a little walk down memory lane. If I spend any amount of time with you, I probably have a song that I can connect, that's how my brain works. Something really funny is Robert does that too. I know we aren't normal because I mention this to people and they look at me like I have 3 heads, but oh well.
Sorry if this blog bored you (if you made it this far), this was a totally for me, maybe having a middle age crisis, kind of thing.
Happy Saturday.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
and Life Goes On.....
There have been periods of time in the last 8 days that have been downright heart wrenching to me. On June 2, Governor Rauner vowed to suspend the LIHEAP program if he did not have a budget he liked in place. On June 30th, I sat, linked to two of my friends who also worked with the program and literally watched as 53,000+ Illinois residence lost their Percentage of Income Payment Plan. my screen was up to one particular client, and my friend, Jen's screen was up to the active report. I was kicked out of the system about 11:45 and her screen went blank at 12:02. It was seriously watching a death. The next day, we had to start telling our clients. Many of my PIPP clients are seniors. We had sent letters out in April telling them we were doing our re-certification process different this year and that we would send a letter closer to time for them to come in. They were calling me just to make sure they hadn't missed their letter. I had to start telling them, "at 12:01, July 1, the PIPP program was dropped throughout the state". Yesterday, I had a lady tell me that it looked like this was the last straw and as much as she hated it, she was going to probably be moving to Joliet and moving in with her kids. I have had so many tears this week, and I want to cry right along with them. I had a lady last week that thanked me for everything I had done, she is 85, she was crying. I hung up and cried, because as many times as we made trips to Springfield to try to educate the Governor and legislators, it didn't work and I have felt like a failure.
I continued to tell all of my clients to call their legislators, and hand out their phone numbers. I did apparently have one that was tired of the phone calls and told one of my clients to tell me to call him. He has vowed to come down and let us teach him more about PIPP, I hope he holds to that.
Right now, we are not counting on having any State funds at all, even though, the state funds are not and never have been part of the General Revenue Fund. In 2002, a bill was passed enacting the 48 cent meter charge on the utility companies that have over 100,000 clients. This is part of a customer service charge on the utility bill. In this Act, that money was specifically to be used to help low-income families. Last week, on July 1st, as a matter of fact, just hours after our program was stopped, the Governor borrowed some of that money to pay bills while there is no budget. I do not understand how that is legal, and things like this takes time to sort out.
I do very well understand that this is just one of many issues going on with the state having no budget. I also know that to take away the PIPP program, where people are being responsible for paying 6% of their income to their energy bill every month, is just nuts. I had people who were finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They were being able to budget, manage their bills, and work on making life better for themselves and their families. It is just truly nothing short of heart wrenching.
Many of our fellow agencies have shut down at least the Energy Assistance departments. Because we are structured to where all of our fieldstaff work with all the programs, right at the moment, we are still open. We closed the offices last Wednesday because we had no clear direction yet as to if we had the authority to pay staff without a budget. I am praying for a resolution soon but I truly thought it would happen last week. Now the Senate is off until the 14th, I don't know how they do that, knowing so many lives are at stake. I hope people remember this when election time rolls around.
There have been a couple of bright spots in our personal life at least. Last Saturday, the 4th, the boys both had the day off and I did so we decided to take a daytrip. Our original plans were to go to the Alton/Grafton area, but when I started looking things up, I found out most of it was still closed due to flooding. Plan B....Springfield. It's a little ironic, because of course, that seems to be my home away from home but when I go, it's usually all business and I don't spend much time doing the touristy stuff. We went to the Old State Capitol, and then walked over to the new State Capitol. I was amazed at 1) how EMPTY it was compared to the last few times I have been there and 2) those days that we were there and things were so chaotic, tours were still being given every 30 minutes. The upside of that, is like me, they got to go into the chambers and watch as laws were being made, whereas on Saturday, nobody was there. The funny thing to me was, when we go during the week, after you pass security, you go where you want, when you want. So, since we had walked quite a ways, I had told the guys that we would run to the basement and get a water out of the pop machine as soon as we got there. So we get through security and they tell us to wait in the rotunda for the next tour, and I asked if we could run downstairs and get a drink.....no. Okay, so when the Governor and most of the legislators are in house, you go where you want, when they aren't, you can't even go get a bottle of water......yeah, I'm from Illinois. We also went to Lincoln's Home and then back to Coles County Airport for fireworks. It was a good day, and it was nice to see a different side of the Capitol. The lady that was our tour guide was amazing at knowing all of the art work, some of it I had looked up on the internet but some I had never really noticed until the building wasn't so crowded.
Then, another bright spot of the week, Robert has wanted a diesel pick-up truck for, well, forever as far as he is concerned, Through a series of events between him and one of his best friends, he now owns one. It stands about a mountain's height tall and we had to get a wooden box for me to stand on to get in it, and then Garrett still had to pull me up into the seat. I am very proud of it for him. Typical mechanic, he now owns 6 vehicles, 2 will run someday and be restored, one needs the rest of the parts taken off of it and then scrapped and one he is hoping to get on the market soon. It truly has been a bright spot though, seeing him so thrilled.
Hope I have better news on the workfront soon.
Until then,
I continued to tell all of my clients to call their legislators, and hand out their phone numbers. I did apparently have one that was tired of the phone calls and told one of my clients to tell me to call him. He has vowed to come down and let us teach him more about PIPP, I hope he holds to that.
Right now, we are not counting on having any State funds at all, even though, the state funds are not and never have been part of the General Revenue Fund. In 2002, a bill was passed enacting the 48 cent meter charge on the utility companies that have over 100,000 clients. This is part of a customer service charge on the utility bill. In this Act, that money was specifically to be used to help low-income families. Last week, on July 1st, as a matter of fact, just hours after our program was stopped, the Governor borrowed some of that money to pay bills while there is no budget. I do not understand how that is legal, and things like this takes time to sort out.
I do very well understand that this is just one of many issues going on with the state having no budget. I also know that to take away the PIPP program, where people are being responsible for paying 6% of their income to their energy bill every month, is just nuts. I had people who were finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They were being able to budget, manage their bills, and work on making life better for themselves and their families. It is just truly nothing short of heart wrenching.
Many of our fellow agencies have shut down at least the Energy Assistance departments. Because we are structured to where all of our fieldstaff work with all the programs, right at the moment, we are still open. We closed the offices last Wednesday because we had no clear direction yet as to if we had the authority to pay staff without a budget. I am praying for a resolution soon but I truly thought it would happen last week. Now the Senate is off until the 14th, I don't know how they do that, knowing so many lives are at stake. I hope people remember this when election time rolls around.
There have been a couple of bright spots in our personal life at least. Last Saturday, the 4th, the boys both had the day off and I did so we decided to take a daytrip. Our original plans were to go to the Alton/Grafton area, but when I started looking things up, I found out most of it was still closed due to flooding. Plan B....Springfield. It's a little ironic, because of course, that seems to be my home away from home but when I go, it's usually all business and I don't spend much time doing the touristy stuff. We went to the Old State Capitol, and then walked over to the new State Capitol. I was amazed at 1) how EMPTY it was compared to the last few times I have been there and 2) those days that we were there and things were so chaotic, tours were still being given every 30 minutes. The upside of that, is like me, they got to go into the chambers and watch as laws were being made, whereas on Saturday, nobody was there. The funny thing to me was, when we go during the week, after you pass security, you go where you want, when you want. So, since we had walked quite a ways, I had told the guys that we would run to the basement and get a water out of the pop machine as soon as we got there. So we get through security and they tell us to wait in the rotunda for the next tour, and I asked if we could run downstairs and get a drink.....no. Okay, so when the Governor and most of the legislators are in house, you go where you want, when they aren't, you can't even go get a bottle of water......yeah, I'm from Illinois. We also went to Lincoln's Home and then back to Coles County Airport for fireworks. It was a good day, and it was nice to see a different side of the Capitol. The lady that was our tour guide was amazing at knowing all of the art work, some of it I had looked up on the internet but some I had never really noticed until the building wasn't so crowded.
Then, another bright spot of the week, Robert has wanted a diesel pick-up truck for, well, forever as far as he is concerned, Through a series of events between him and one of his best friends, he now owns one. It stands about a mountain's height tall and we had to get a wooden box for me to stand on to get in it, and then Garrett still had to pull me up into the seat. I am very proud of it for him. Typical mechanic, he now owns 6 vehicles, 2 will run someday and be restored, one needs the rest of the parts taken off of it and then scrapped and one he is hoping to get on the market soon. It truly has been a bright spot though, seeing him so thrilled.
Hope I have better news on the workfront soon.
Until then,
Monday, June 22, 2015
Overwhelmed
That describes so much of my life right now. I don't know that I have ever felt like I have been pulled in so many different directions or that I have had so many things that should be taking first place in my life right now.
Our situation with State LIHEAP funds is a mess, and there is no easy way to tell what all is going on. Bottom line though, the Governor wants to use money that isn't his (or the State's). When he didn't get by with that, he simply "suspended" our ability to use it coming July 1. In theory, having it stopped for a few days shouldn't be any big deal; in reality, any gap in service shuts down our entire Percentage of Payment Plan. That is looking more real every day. There are many things that are simple solutions, and you would think that lifting the suspension would be a simple solution. The secondary problem is at the State level, guess who runs the LIHEAP program? Duh, State workers. If we have no budget July 1, many of them will not be supposed to go to work. Things are just a mess and I just can't help but think of my many, many clients, especially my seniors who are caught in the crossfire. It makes me want to throw up, and since I'm a stress eater, it makes me want to eat. That is a weird feeling, nausea and supposed hunger all at the same time.
That brings me to another dilemma, I have been letting my weight get completely away from me. UGH!! It is the stress and I know it. When I get home of an evening, all I want to do is eat and sleep. I don't want to get out of bed of a morning because I know the possibility of yet another really bad day is on the horizon. Thursday night though, I got on the scales. I know, you aren't supposed to weight of an evening, but I did. I was at a number worse than I had ever seen and it scared me, badly. Needless to say, I have spent the weekend trying to get ahold of myself and I am heading in the right direction. I have planned out every bite I am eating this week and plan to have the rest of the month and into July planned by the end of the week. I am forcing myself to get out of bed and exercise. I also am finding that I still remember what having a lot of this weight off felt like. That is nerve wracking as well because I relate all of my exercise to trying to do it while carrying ALL of my groceries in at one time, and that is how clumsy I feel after gaining all this weight. Part of it truly was 3 months back on prednisone, but a lot of it was not.
I am supposed to speak at the LIHEAP conference on August 12th, that gives me a goal and something to work HARD for. I wish I had the time to try to do something like the Biggest Loser. I truly know if I had all day every day just to devote myself to losing weight, I could. However, I would get kicked out the first hour because I can't seem to stay away from work. I am off today and already had a friend from Ameren try to tell me to get lost, I was supposed to be on staycation. I guess I hadn't explained to anyone (including myself) that staycation includes staying in touch with work.
So, Day 1 of my Staycation, (actually day 1.5, because I started a project yesterday just because we didn't have church last night). I emptied my upright freezer, sorted the food in it, took the good stuff to one of the freezers in the basement and threw the old stuff out, and defrosted that freezer, that was all last night. This morning, I worked on putting stuff back in the upright, and then sorting the other two. I stopped though because I have a lot of stuff to go to the trash :-(, (veggies from '12 and '13) and was afraid I would run out of trashcan space. Will do the rest a couple of bags at a time. I also cleaned my canned food area, noticed I am completely out of my homemade meat sauce (come on tomatoes!), and cleaned the area around my treadmill, bike and weight machine. I am making plans for Thursday afternoon to clean up the rest of that area. I actually changed my vaca to all day today and Friday, half days Tuesday and Thursday and all day Wednesday.
It is almost noon and I am really tired of going up and down the stairs. So, going to clean up, eat lunch, run some errands, get some stuff ready for a friend to come and pick up and then, maybe, just maybe, I may relax for a bit before either guy gets home for dinner.
Happy Monday, oh and I mentioned a summer bucket list; my list has now officially become "just get through the next day". I am truly looking forward to things being in a state where I really can take a week off and not worry about things.
Our situation with State LIHEAP funds is a mess, and there is no easy way to tell what all is going on. Bottom line though, the Governor wants to use money that isn't his (or the State's). When he didn't get by with that, he simply "suspended" our ability to use it coming July 1. In theory, having it stopped for a few days shouldn't be any big deal; in reality, any gap in service shuts down our entire Percentage of Payment Plan. That is looking more real every day. There are many things that are simple solutions, and you would think that lifting the suspension would be a simple solution. The secondary problem is at the State level, guess who runs the LIHEAP program? Duh, State workers. If we have no budget July 1, many of them will not be supposed to go to work. Things are just a mess and I just can't help but think of my many, many clients, especially my seniors who are caught in the crossfire. It makes me want to throw up, and since I'm a stress eater, it makes me want to eat. That is a weird feeling, nausea and supposed hunger all at the same time.
That brings me to another dilemma, I have been letting my weight get completely away from me. UGH!! It is the stress and I know it. When I get home of an evening, all I want to do is eat and sleep. I don't want to get out of bed of a morning because I know the possibility of yet another really bad day is on the horizon. Thursday night though, I got on the scales. I know, you aren't supposed to weight of an evening, but I did. I was at a number worse than I had ever seen and it scared me, badly. Needless to say, I have spent the weekend trying to get ahold of myself and I am heading in the right direction. I have planned out every bite I am eating this week and plan to have the rest of the month and into July planned by the end of the week. I am forcing myself to get out of bed and exercise. I also am finding that I still remember what having a lot of this weight off felt like. That is nerve wracking as well because I relate all of my exercise to trying to do it while carrying ALL of my groceries in at one time, and that is how clumsy I feel after gaining all this weight. Part of it truly was 3 months back on prednisone, but a lot of it was not.
I am supposed to speak at the LIHEAP conference on August 12th, that gives me a goal and something to work HARD for. I wish I had the time to try to do something like the Biggest Loser. I truly know if I had all day every day just to devote myself to losing weight, I could. However, I would get kicked out the first hour because I can't seem to stay away from work. I am off today and already had a friend from Ameren try to tell me to get lost, I was supposed to be on staycation. I guess I hadn't explained to anyone (including myself) that staycation includes staying in touch with work.
So, Day 1 of my Staycation, (actually day 1.5, because I started a project yesterday just because we didn't have church last night). I emptied my upright freezer, sorted the food in it, took the good stuff to one of the freezers in the basement and threw the old stuff out, and defrosted that freezer, that was all last night. This morning, I worked on putting stuff back in the upright, and then sorting the other two. I stopped though because I have a lot of stuff to go to the trash :-(, (veggies from '12 and '13) and was afraid I would run out of trashcan space. Will do the rest a couple of bags at a time. I also cleaned my canned food area, noticed I am completely out of my homemade meat sauce (come on tomatoes!), and cleaned the area around my treadmill, bike and weight machine. I am making plans for Thursday afternoon to clean up the rest of that area. I actually changed my vaca to all day today and Friday, half days Tuesday and Thursday and all day Wednesday.
It is almost noon and I am really tired of going up and down the stairs. So, going to clean up, eat lunch, run some errands, get some stuff ready for a friend to come and pick up and then, maybe, just maybe, I may relax for a bit before either guy gets home for dinner.
Happy Monday, oh and I mentioned a summer bucket list; my list has now officially become "just get through the next day". I am truly looking forward to things being in a state where I really can take a week off and not worry about things.
Monday, May 25, 2015
Memorial Day, 2015
First and foremost, I want to give remembrance to those who have died serving our county. That is what this day is truly about. Although I am always thankful for those who have served, this day was originally set aside to remember those who died in the Civil War, it was to be observed on May 30th. This was the day you were to go to the cemetery and decorate their graves., hence the original "Decoration day". Even if you didn't have family members at the cemetery who had served, you decorated your loved ones graves. It is rumored that this was decided for this day because so many flowers would be in bloom at this time. In 1971, it was decided to change the date to the last Monday in May and call it Memorial Day, honoring all fallen soldiers. My mom still complains that "if we would celebrate it when we were supposed to". I always giggle a little at this, she doesn't like change. The thing is, up until that time, it was what it was, changing it to the last Monday in May did lend itself to that three day weekend celebration feel.
So, yes, it is a three day weekend, it is the unofficial start of summer, and it is a good time to see friends and family, let's just not forget why you have this day. In 2000, the National Moment of Remembrance was enacted. So, at least at 3:00 this afternoon, you should pause to give thanks for those who've gone before, so you have the freedom to be spending the rest of the day as a relaxing day. I am sure it means different things to different people and that is okay. If you have loved ones close to you that have died in action, by all means, I think you should be remembering them if that is what you want to be doing. Our family really does not, so my day is going to be spent working on projects that need done because I have the day off. My guys are working at the farm today.
This evening, we are cooking ribs on the grill and eating out on the newly cleaned off patio, if I get finished cleaning it and if the weather stays fit, that will be our Memorial Day.
I have been in a blogging mood, just haven't had time to get it down, I am looking for a better app for my pad to translate handwriting to typing. There are times, I would just like to jot down some thoughts, and so far, I haven't found the right combination.
As always, things have been a blur lately. Andrew's dad and his girlfriend came for a visit. I was in Springfield the first two days they were here, Andrew had multiple jobs going on and Robert was working so we mainly saw them of an evening. We normally try to do something at least one day while they are here, but there just wasn't the time. Maybe this fall when they come. This past Friday night I got some much needed friend time as one of my BFF's from High School came and had a sit on the porch. IT was so good to see Tammy and to catch up, wish we could do that more often. On Saturday, we went to Bloomington to celebrate my Uncle Kenny's 80th birthday. It was great seeing everyone and it was just a perfect day. My mom started out life with 3 living brothers and 3 living sisters (she had a brother and two sisters who died in childhood before she was born), it is now down to these 2. I treasure the time we get to spend with them and for them to get to spend with each other.
Robert got exciting news a couple of weeks ago that came to fruition this week, he no longer works on Saturdays. This is great because Andrew normally doesn't work at other people's houses on Saturdays unless he is pushing to get things done. This means now, most Saturdays can be spent on Robert's house. Not to mention the fact that Robert will now be driving to Charleston 5 days a week instead of 6 and making the same amount of money, that in itself was like getting a raise. He has been very involved in helping my mom with the gardening this year. This will all work out well because they won't try to get to the farm after work during the week now, they will concentrate on Saturdays for that, and Robert and Mom can work in the garden; so it's good for all of us that this happened. It is on a trial basis through the summer so we are all really hoping it stays this way.
Andrew has been keeping busy, not quite as busy as we would like but for the business just being 9 months old, I don't think we can complain. We had our first yard sale, which went well. We are doing the national road yard sale this coming weekend in Greenup and then whatever didn't sell from that we are pretty much tossing and starting over. I am looking at having a yard sale once a month through the summer. We have so much junk to get rid that I know we can do one a month and have different stuff. I haven't even started on my own attic yet.
I am getting ready to go to Springfield again tomorrow for a LIHEAP Action day. We are taking all the fieldworkers to the Capitol to stand up for our program. We had two bills that directly affect our agency, one was passed last Thursday, and the other one has been given the runaround. We feel it has to be up for vote by Friday, last day of session, or we will lose ground. I also have a huge amount of computer work to get done in the next couple of weeks. I have 5 new computers that need installed in our office, not to mention the day-in, day-out work of PIPP and the fact that I will probably need to have my implementation plan to the state by the middle of June. I haven't even looked at it yet. Busy, busy, busy.
I am working on a bucket list for the summer. It technically should be finished today but the day is already starting to get away from me, so it may have to be in the works for a few days, once again, a good script to type or a better talk to type would help me immensely.
So, here goes the day.
Happy Memorial Day.
So, yes, it is a three day weekend, it is the unofficial start of summer, and it is a good time to see friends and family, let's just not forget why you have this day. In 2000, the National Moment of Remembrance was enacted. So, at least at 3:00 this afternoon, you should pause to give thanks for those who've gone before, so you have the freedom to be spending the rest of the day as a relaxing day. I am sure it means different things to different people and that is okay. If you have loved ones close to you that have died in action, by all means, I think you should be remembering them if that is what you want to be doing. Our family really does not, so my day is going to be spent working on projects that need done because I have the day off. My guys are working at the farm today.
This evening, we are cooking ribs on the grill and eating out on the newly cleaned off patio, if I get finished cleaning it and if the weather stays fit, that will be our Memorial Day.
I have been in a blogging mood, just haven't had time to get it down, I am looking for a better app for my pad to translate handwriting to typing. There are times, I would just like to jot down some thoughts, and so far, I haven't found the right combination.
As always, things have been a blur lately. Andrew's dad and his girlfriend came for a visit. I was in Springfield the first two days they were here, Andrew had multiple jobs going on and Robert was working so we mainly saw them of an evening. We normally try to do something at least one day while they are here, but there just wasn't the time. Maybe this fall when they come. This past Friday night I got some much needed friend time as one of my BFF's from High School came and had a sit on the porch. IT was so good to see Tammy and to catch up, wish we could do that more often. On Saturday, we went to Bloomington to celebrate my Uncle Kenny's 80th birthday. It was great seeing everyone and it was just a perfect day. My mom started out life with 3 living brothers and 3 living sisters (she had a brother and two sisters who died in childhood before she was born), it is now down to these 2. I treasure the time we get to spend with them and for them to get to spend with each other.
Robert got exciting news a couple of weeks ago that came to fruition this week, he no longer works on Saturdays. This is great because Andrew normally doesn't work at other people's houses on Saturdays unless he is pushing to get things done. This means now, most Saturdays can be spent on Robert's house. Not to mention the fact that Robert will now be driving to Charleston 5 days a week instead of 6 and making the same amount of money, that in itself was like getting a raise. He has been very involved in helping my mom with the gardening this year. This will all work out well because they won't try to get to the farm after work during the week now, they will concentrate on Saturdays for that, and Robert and Mom can work in the garden; so it's good for all of us that this happened. It is on a trial basis through the summer so we are all really hoping it stays this way.
Andrew has been keeping busy, not quite as busy as we would like but for the business just being 9 months old, I don't think we can complain. We had our first yard sale, which went well. We are doing the national road yard sale this coming weekend in Greenup and then whatever didn't sell from that we are pretty much tossing and starting over. I am looking at having a yard sale once a month through the summer. We have so much junk to get rid that I know we can do one a month and have different stuff. I haven't even started on my own attic yet.
I am getting ready to go to Springfield again tomorrow for a LIHEAP Action day. We are taking all the fieldworkers to the Capitol to stand up for our program. We had two bills that directly affect our agency, one was passed last Thursday, and the other one has been given the runaround. We feel it has to be up for vote by Friday, last day of session, or we will lose ground. I also have a huge amount of computer work to get done in the next couple of weeks. I have 5 new computers that need installed in our office, not to mention the day-in, day-out work of PIPP and the fact that I will probably need to have my implementation plan to the state by the middle of June. I haven't even looked at it yet. Busy, busy, busy.
I am working on a bucket list for the summer. It technically should be finished today but the day is already starting to get away from me, so it may have to be in the works for a few days, once again, a good script to type or a better talk to type would help me immensely.
So, here goes the day.
Happy Memorial Day.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Deep Thoughts
Do you ever have a memory stored away and just know you remembered it correctly only to find out it was wrong? I have had that happen this week and it bugs me....on many different levels. The memory happened 30 years ago and itself is not important. It just gets me that my brain had transferred the whole ordeal to a different person. I don't know why and that is what brings me to the title.
Do you remember those people in your life you couldn't fathom going 24 hours without talking to? Do you still go less than 24 hours without talking to them? If no, what happened? I have been thinking a lot about how people move in and out of our lives. There have been people in my life that I thought would always be there, and then they weren't. And then they are back. I hate to think I have started having a hard time with change but apparently I have. I tend to over-think the what if's and the why's. Why did we go our separate ways in the first place, why can't I remember when that happened and worst yet, am I going to get burned if I start letting them into my life again?
Earlier this year, in one day, I was faced with not one but two of those people. I actually came home and cried. Somehow, I had went for years without this bothering me but it being slammed in my face seemed to wake me up. Thanks to facebook, we had rekindled some kind of mutual acquaintanceship but these were people that at one point in my life, knew my deepest, darkest secrets, my thoughts, my fears, everything about the real me. And now we are reduced to less than Christmas card exchangers. It made me think about all of my earlier life friends. One particular relationship I am assuming we had one more bad day that we did good. This was actually an old boyfriend and I can't help but hear the Garth song about some of God's greatest gifts being unanswered prayers. The only thing is, they weren't unanswered, God said no and somehow I guess one or both of us didn't care enough to ask if He was sure. That is the only boyfriend relationship that I can't remember the ending, I don't remember a blow-up (though there were several of them!), or being thrown against a tree (yes, it happened), or finding out the guy had two classrings, and indeed, two steady girlfriends (oh yes, that one happened too), or that he wanted to date someone else, (yep, this one too complete with telling me who it was--my cousin, no less and it was priceless, he didn't know she was my cousin OR that she was engaged, he just wanted to find her and see what she would say, needless to say--I let him. lol. ) or finding out later that he decided he wasn't into girls (twice). I guess now I wish I had a more cut and dried answer for that one relationship as well as some of the others of my friendships that ended instead of the shoulder shrugging "we just aren't close anymore" and then to the "I haven't talked to them in years", but my question is still why and why can't I remember?
This all made me think of this poem:
People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a dificulty…
To provide you with guidance and support…
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…
They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die…
Sometimes they walk away…
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…
Their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.
Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life…
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime
~ unknown author
Before anyone reads anything into any of this I know one thing for sure: when Andrew and I went on our first date, all of the other failures made sense. Between the above mentioned boyfriend and Andrew, I actually got engaged. I wanted so badly for that to be right at the time, but somewhere deep down, I just couldn't make myself accept it. Again, when Andrew came along, it all made sense. He was the one God made for me, and I waited it out and he waited it out, and we got to be together. I thank God for that daily.
In closing, I just want to say to all of those out there that still have their BFF's close, keep them there. I would give anything in the world if we didn't have these big gaps of seeing each other with my friends from high school and since we aren't used to making time for each other, it is hard to schedule things now. I have friends now and I like hanging around with them but I always go back to that line from Stand by Me. I know I've quoted it before but it never gets old to me: I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve.
So, if you were in my life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, know that I treasured that time, and if you are in my life now, I hope that I do a better job of letting you know how important you are to me.
M
Do you remember those people in your life you couldn't fathom going 24 hours without talking to? Do you still go less than 24 hours without talking to them? If no, what happened? I have been thinking a lot about how people move in and out of our lives. There have been people in my life that I thought would always be there, and then they weren't. And then they are back. I hate to think I have started having a hard time with change but apparently I have. I tend to over-think the what if's and the why's. Why did we go our separate ways in the first place, why can't I remember when that happened and worst yet, am I going to get burned if I start letting them into my life again?
Earlier this year, in one day, I was faced with not one but two of those people. I actually came home and cried. Somehow, I had went for years without this bothering me but it being slammed in my face seemed to wake me up. Thanks to facebook, we had rekindled some kind of mutual acquaintanceship but these were people that at one point in my life, knew my deepest, darkest secrets, my thoughts, my fears, everything about the real me. And now we are reduced to less than Christmas card exchangers. It made me think about all of my earlier life friends. One particular relationship I am assuming we had one more bad day that we did good. This was actually an old boyfriend and I can't help but hear the Garth song about some of God's greatest gifts being unanswered prayers. The only thing is, they weren't unanswered, God said no and somehow I guess one or both of us didn't care enough to ask if He was sure. That is the only boyfriend relationship that I can't remember the ending, I don't remember a blow-up (though there were several of them!), or being thrown against a tree (yes, it happened), or finding out the guy had two classrings, and indeed, two steady girlfriends (oh yes, that one happened too), or that he wanted to date someone else, (yep, this one too complete with telling me who it was--my cousin, no less and it was priceless, he didn't know she was my cousin OR that she was engaged, he just wanted to find her and see what she would say, needless to say--I let him. lol. ) or finding out later that he decided he wasn't into girls (twice). I guess now I wish I had a more cut and dried answer for that one relationship as well as some of the others of my friendships that ended instead of the shoulder shrugging "we just aren't close anymore" and then to the "I haven't talked to them in years", but my question is still why and why can't I remember?
This all made me think of this poem:
People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a dificulty…
To provide you with guidance and support…
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…
They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die…
Sometimes they walk away…
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…
Their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.
Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life…
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime
~ unknown author
Before anyone reads anything into any of this I know one thing for sure: when Andrew and I went on our first date, all of the other failures made sense. Between the above mentioned boyfriend and Andrew, I actually got engaged. I wanted so badly for that to be right at the time, but somewhere deep down, I just couldn't make myself accept it. Again, when Andrew came along, it all made sense. He was the one God made for me, and I waited it out and he waited it out, and we got to be together. I thank God for that daily.
In closing, I just want to say to all of those out there that still have their BFF's close, keep them there. I would give anything in the world if we didn't have these big gaps of seeing each other with my friends from high school and since we aren't used to making time for each other, it is hard to schedule things now. I have friends now and I like hanging around with them but I always go back to that line from Stand by Me. I know I've quoted it before but it never gets old to me: I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve.
So, if you were in my life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, know that I treasured that time, and if you are in my life now, I hope that I do a better job of letting you know how important you are to me.
M
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Blessings
Good morning from Springfield!
Day 2 of our annual IACAA conference, which means Sunday night was our Family of Distinction Banquet. The banquet was good as always, lots of people making it because our agencies believed in them. Helping People, Changing Lives.
Our own award recipient couldn't come. He first came into our offices for assistance because the factory he was working at closed. Through our programs, he got his CDL license, was in Wyoming to see his sons and was offered a job by a trucking company out there! So, on top of everything else, he now gets to be with his family!
I love happy endings.
If you are with me on facebook, you know I love skylines too, I am on the 25th floor this time, and I always manage to get in room 1,2, 17, or 18. I love this because you can see the Capitol out all of those windows. Normally, when I am here, I wonder about the law process, knowing that what I do each day is to help change lives, but knowing what THEY do definitely changes lives. I still can't believe that the past two weeks, I have been inside that building, participating in the process. It is so incredibly humbling to me that God would let me have this life. I truly do feel like we made a difference. Helping People, Changing Lives.
I am posting a picture of the night skyline as well. I had sent a picture of my view to Andrew on Sunday evening, he showed it to my mom and Mom told him about me always watching the lights. I think watching the world go by might be as relaxing to me as some people sitting on the beach. One time, when one of my uncles was in the hospital at Barnes, in St. Louis, we got a room in Queeny Towers, it was either on the top floor or very close. Of course, the interstate ran right in front of Barnes. There was about a 12 inch ledge on the inside of our window. I laid on that ledge and watched the traffic for hours. So, I spent each evening just sitting for at least a half hour, watching the world go by. Still mesmerizes me, but still makes me incredibly thankful that God lets me do what I do.
Today is the last day of the conference, in fact, for the first time in a long time, I don't know if I will be back in Springfield at all this month, more than likely yes, but I have nothing scheduled yet. Wait and see.
As we personally are learning to adjust to the ins and outs of owning our own business, the biggest adjustment is to worrying that Andrew won't have jobs. I get pretty scared, and pretty down even though I try not to. Gone (at least for a while) are the days when if I didn't feel like cooking, we just went out. I truly wish I would have had more discipline then and not spent the money, but life is a learning process and so I lived and I have learned. I always used to budget every penny, and I still did even after things got easier, I just didn't stick to it like I probably should have. A few weeks ago, Randy Black spoke at our church, and preached on God's grace being sufficient. He kinda blew a whole thing for me because I had always thought I would write an entire book on when God says no. Randy blew the whole idea because that book can be summed up in 4 little words: "My grace is sufficient". So, Sunday morning as I was reading (after paying bills on Saturday morning), I came across 2 Corinthians 12. Lo and behold, there it was, My grace is sufficient. Then yesterday morning, I thought I was on Chapter 13 and was on 12, so He said it to me again. I get the picture. Once again, I know we are going to be just fine.
So, now I am packed and ready for the final day and then to head toward home. I've learned some things at the conference, but I've learned a lot in that quiet down-time I've had here in my room this week.
Happy Tuesday!
Day 2 of our annual IACAA conference, which means Sunday night was our Family of Distinction Banquet. The banquet was good as always, lots of people making it because our agencies believed in them. Helping People, Changing Lives.
Our own award recipient couldn't come. He first came into our offices for assistance because the factory he was working at closed. Through our programs, he got his CDL license, was in Wyoming to see his sons and was offered a job by a trucking company out there! So, on top of everything else, he now gets to be with his family!
I love happy endings.
If you are with me on facebook, you know I love skylines too, I am on the 25th floor this time, and I always manage to get in room 1,2, 17, or 18. I love this because you can see the Capitol out all of those windows. Normally, when I am here, I wonder about the law process, knowing that what I do each day is to help change lives, but knowing what THEY do definitely changes lives. I still can't believe that the past two weeks, I have been inside that building, participating in the process. It is so incredibly humbling to me that God would let me have this life. I truly do feel like we made a difference. Helping People, Changing Lives.
I am posting a picture of the night skyline as well. I had sent a picture of my view to Andrew on Sunday evening, he showed it to my mom and Mom told him about me always watching the lights. I think watching the world go by might be as relaxing to me as some people sitting on the beach. One time, when one of my uncles was in the hospital at Barnes, in St. Louis, we got a room in Queeny Towers, it was either on the top floor or very close. Of course, the interstate ran right in front of Barnes. There was about a 12 inch ledge on the inside of our window. I laid on that ledge and watched the traffic for hours. So, I spent each evening just sitting for at least a half hour, watching the world go by. Still mesmerizes me, but still makes me incredibly thankful that God lets me do what I do.
Today is the last day of the conference, in fact, for the first time in a long time, I don't know if I will be back in Springfield at all this month, more than likely yes, but I have nothing scheduled yet. Wait and see.
As we personally are learning to adjust to the ins and outs of owning our own business, the biggest adjustment is to worrying that Andrew won't have jobs. I get pretty scared, and pretty down even though I try not to. Gone (at least for a while) are the days when if I didn't feel like cooking, we just went out. I truly wish I would have had more discipline then and not spent the money, but life is a learning process and so I lived and I have learned. I always used to budget every penny, and I still did even after things got easier, I just didn't stick to it like I probably should have. A few weeks ago, Randy Black spoke at our church, and preached on God's grace being sufficient. He kinda blew a whole thing for me because I had always thought I would write an entire book on when God says no. Randy blew the whole idea because that book can be summed up in 4 little words: "My grace is sufficient". So, Sunday morning as I was reading (after paying bills on Saturday morning), I came across 2 Corinthians 12. Lo and behold, there it was, My grace is sufficient. Then yesterday morning, I thought I was on Chapter 13 and was on 12, so He said it to me again. I get the picture. Once again, I know we are going to be just fine.
So, now I am packed and ready for the final day and then to head toward home. I've learned some things at the conference, but I've learned a lot in that quiet down-time I've had here in my room this week.
Happy Tuesday!
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
The Good Day
Does anyone remember Zig Zigler and the Power of Positive Thinking? One of his things was that if you told yourself enough times that it was going to be a good day, it would be a good day. I have been trying for over a week to have a good day. I have honestly had okay days in that week but I was really striving towards a day that I was the person I wanted to be all. day. long.
A week ago last Sunday, I wrote down what I thought a good day would be. It would be one where I got up early enough to do a good Bible study, spend time with God, have a good workout, have my house all straightened before I went to work, got everything on my list done at work, got everything done after work I wanted to, fix a good dinner, relax and be in bed by a decent hour. Yesterday was what I hope to be the first of many more.
I was up at 4:30, did my Bible study, had prayer time, did my C25K, day 1 (yes, again, this is truly the longest I have ever went without a good exercise routine and it showed, big time, yesterday but I did it anyway), had my dishes done and my house straightened, went to the Newton office and fixed a computer, went to work and got everything done on my list, came home and worked on the project I intended to, packed for a business trip today, fixed grilled pork steaks for dinner, watched the 2 hour episode of Amazing Race and took a great relaxing bath, complete with candles, music and a cup of Earl Grey decaf. I was in bed a little later than normal but I still woke up at 4:30 ready to go again. To top it all off, those scales moved 2.6 lbs from yesterday to today! It was my first day post prednisone so that was part of it, but the food and the exercise certainly played a part.
I am doing the Be Wise Bible study by Warren Wiersbe. This morning, one of the things he said was that everyday really is a good day in the life of a Christian because God is molding us into who he wants us to be. So, even if it seems like a bad day, it's a good day. I would rather have good days that seem like good days, but I do get it.
Today, I have had my quiet time and Bible Study, and am getting ready to go downstairs to lift some weights and do some crunches. I will be back in Springfield before the day is over. We are taking the ladies that we took last week, back to tell their stories to more people. Sounds like tomorrow has been declared an advocacy day, so there will be lots of people there telling their stories, it will probably end up being a long day, but hopefully a good one.
I have a list of things to accomplish before we go and I really do think I will get them finished.
Here is to lots and lots of good days!
I am planning on blogging more, it is one of the things that make me realize what is going on in my life and even though it doesn't seem like it to others, I am working on more changes to me. I will probably blog them as a way to hold myself accountable to me and to God.
With that being said, I am probably not going to post of facebook every time I blog. Some of my readers have followed me since way before facebook, but if you count on that post and really want to read my page, follow me, to the right and you should get an email when it updates, or just check back at the actual website every once in a while. If I have something really big, I will probably share it on fb, but a lot of times, I just won't.
Happy Tuesday everyone, hope it's a GOOD day!
A week ago last Sunday, I wrote down what I thought a good day would be. It would be one where I got up early enough to do a good Bible study, spend time with God, have a good workout, have my house all straightened before I went to work, got everything on my list done at work, got everything done after work I wanted to, fix a good dinner, relax and be in bed by a decent hour. Yesterday was what I hope to be the first of many more.
I was up at 4:30, did my Bible study, had prayer time, did my C25K, day 1 (yes, again, this is truly the longest I have ever went without a good exercise routine and it showed, big time, yesterday but I did it anyway), had my dishes done and my house straightened, went to the Newton office and fixed a computer, went to work and got everything done on my list, came home and worked on the project I intended to, packed for a business trip today, fixed grilled pork steaks for dinner, watched the 2 hour episode of Amazing Race and took a great relaxing bath, complete with candles, music and a cup of Earl Grey decaf. I was in bed a little later than normal but I still woke up at 4:30 ready to go again. To top it all off, those scales moved 2.6 lbs from yesterday to today! It was my first day post prednisone so that was part of it, but the food and the exercise certainly played a part.
I am doing the Be Wise Bible study by Warren Wiersbe. This morning, one of the things he said was that everyday really is a good day in the life of a Christian because God is molding us into who he wants us to be. So, even if it seems like a bad day, it's a good day. I would rather have good days that seem like good days, but I do get it.
Today, I have had my quiet time and Bible Study, and am getting ready to go downstairs to lift some weights and do some crunches. I will be back in Springfield before the day is over. We are taking the ladies that we took last week, back to tell their stories to more people. Sounds like tomorrow has been declared an advocacy day, so there will be lots of people there telling their stories, it will probably end up being a long day, but hopefully a good one.
I have a list of things to accomplish before we go and I really do think I will get them finished.
Here is to lots and lots of good days!
I am planning on blogging more, it is one of the things that make me realize what is going on in my life and even though it doesn't seem like it to others, I am working on more changes to me. I will probably blog them as a way to hold myself accountable to me and to God.
With that being said, I am probably not going to post of facebook every time I blog. Some of my readers have followed me since way before facebook, but if you count on that post and really want to read my page, follow me, to the right and you should get an email when it updates, or just check back at the actual website every once in a while. If I have something really big, I will probably share it on fb, but a lot of times, I just won't.
Happy Tuesday everyone, hope it's a GOOD day!
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