Time to Play Catch-Up

I can't believe I haven't updated the blog since April.....sorry. Things have been moving at what feels like warp speed and I seem to be spending most of my time trying to just hang on for the ride.

I think I am heading for remission as far as the UC is concerned. I had a bit of a problem the first week of June but it is over and I am doing incredibly well. I still have an autoimmune disease and I am up to taking 12 pills daily for that, plus the injection once every two weeks. I take 5 more pills every day to support the needs of my body that the other pills decrease; potassium, B-complex, lots of Vitamin C. The hardest part of things right now is remembering that I have no immune system and I still have to be careful. It is harder to remember that when I feel so good.

On my work front, the state just passed a stop-gap budget. Not ideal, but at least we can start our program year, so I am happy about that. I have two trips to Springfield planned this month. Hopefully, we get to work on bringing back our Percentage of Income Payment Program, I love this program, it has been a lot of hard work, but I feel like it is so worth it.

Here at home, Andrew is having his busiest summer ever, and we are so thankful to God for our clients and the continued work. Right now, we are booking into the middle of August. That makes me very happy, I just pray the phone keeps ringing.

We have a new face in our house, now if we can just get the house to survive her growing up stages. Jasmine aka Jazz, is our new kitten. She is about 13 weeks old now, and into everything. Gibbs was never like this and we don't quite know how to handle her. Gibbs has been the cute one though, he absolutely loves her. I thought he would be a good big brother but I think he thinks he is a dad and that is okay. They spend 90% of their time together and I love it.

Because Andrew has been so busy, the guys haven't spent much time on Robert's house. They are planning on working on it today and Monday though, so hopefully they can make some progress.

On Memorial Day, we did take a family day and headed to Kentucky. My theme for the day was "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles". We took in the Corvette Factory, the Kentucky Railway Museum and the Aviation Heritage Park, all in Bowling Green. We ate at Chaney's Dairy Barn for lunch and of course, had to hit Moonlite BBQ in Owensboro on our way home. It was a great day and probably as close as we are going to get to vacation this summer. I am planning another family day the 23rd of August, when Robert takes his week of vacation. We are going to Columbus, Indiana. I heard about this town at our annual IACAA conference, and really wanted to visit. Ironically, the center of all the change for them was the Cummins Diesel Engine factory, which now you can understand why the boys don't mind following my little dream.

I am planning on taking a lot of Fridays off this summer. My mom is still having some blood issues and so we have spent several Fridays in Terre Haute at the doctor, we don't go back until the 22nd of this month. Yesterday, she didn't have to go to the doctor so we just went shopping, and grocery shopping for the fun of it. That leaves me with the whole day home today. Not leaving the house. It is pathetic how excited that makes me!

We started off the 4th of July weekend with a concert in Robinson last night. It was our 2nd annual community band concert and I was so excited and honored to be a part of it.

I may try to post pictures here this afternoon.


Happy 4th of July everyone! Be careful!

Spring...FINALLY!

What a great weekend! I know it's been a while so I'll try to catch everybody up.

 As far as the Humira, I've had my loading injections, my two injections two weeks later, and did my first regular injection last Wednesday. So it's honestly only been four weeks but a glorious four weeks! I am so very excited about how much better I feel and even though I won't go into graphic detail it is very clear that it is working. So my next goal is to head for the big R word – – – remission. 

As far as what's been going on in our lives, it's been a borderline zoo. I've been in Springfield three days in the last two weeks and going again this coming Thursday. Then I skip a week and go for three days. One meeting I was at felt like it kept being stalled, but the last meeting I was at was really good. We've got some new leadership at the state level and I think things are really starting to come together. Hoping the meeting this week is very productive too. When I go to Springfield for three days will be for the annual IACAA conference. This is the one that starts out with the family of distinction, you've heard me talk about it before, my favorite night of the year.

 We've also been extremely busy at work because Ameren has a moratorium through the winter months and doen not shut off. Moratorium ended at midnight on March 31. So everybody is getting shut off. 

Robert has been staying very busy also. He hasn't been making it home before dark a lot of nights. Andrew has been working six days a week lately ( if my father-in-law is reading this, you can say I told you so.) he has been working on a good size tiling job but it is turning out beautifully. I think at the moment he has four clients lined up. I told him this morning when he got down to two I would start praying for the phone to ring again. He told me to start praying right now.

 This weekend has been absolutely gorgeous and we finally got our yard mowed, some trimming done, and the rocks cleaned out around our house. Andrew and I set fire to the big brush pile in our backyard last night and decided while we had a fire we might as well have hotdogs and Smore's. That was a fun little mini date night. So today has been pretty decent, The house is all cleaned up and ready for the week, I made homemade noodles and turkey for lunch and Andrew is making peanut butter pancakes as I work on this. 

Hope everybody is having a great time with this wonderful weather looks like we could have some rain by the end of the week. We'll take all the sunshine we can get when we can get it. 

My mom seems to be doing a little better too, her arm is looking much better. Her biggest problem is she isn't being able to work as hard as she used to and that bugs her. She says she doesn't understand why there are days she feels old. Andrew just hollered that supper was ready so I better get. Hope everyone has a wonderful week!.

Praises

It is a little before 6 on Saturday morning and I just finished my weekly post for my other blog : www.louderthanthevoices.blogspot.com I thought I would share what has been going on with life with Humira.

First off, I have taken both my loading dose (4 injections) and my 2nd dose (2 injections) of Humira. Everyone said give it six weeks to really notice any differences but I am noticing major differences already!

I went to the doctor yesterday and he is excited as well. I take 3 medicines now dedicated to the UC, on a daily basis; Humira, Azathioprine and Sulfasalazine. I have been having some stomach issues lately and I attribute it to the Sulfasalazine, because of the timing of the issue to the timing of taking the medicine. I asked if I could quit taking it and he said not yet, but did let me go down to 3 times a day instead of 4, it's a start!

I am still taking prednisone but weaning off of it too and so all is good.

Andrew is working at a job site today and Robert is helping him. I am going into my office as I got back from Springfield last night and had such a stack of stuff to do, I thought it best just to go home, get some rest and tackle it today. So, the guys what to go to Parklanes for breakfast and then we are all heading to work.

I may write more later, but at least I can share that I am doing great!

The Waiting Game.....hopefully One. Last. Time

On January 7th, when we started talking about me taking Humira, I never really dreamed 2 months later, and I would still be going through the motions to get there. The Humira was actually delivered last week so 6 injections are in my fridge. I go see the infectious disease doc next Wednesday, the 16th. I truly believe I can schedule my training and my first 4-shot dose after that. I am really hoping for the next week.

I had a bit of a setback last week. I have done as little as possible outside of work since January. The results of the colonoscopy were scary to me and it made me realize that as badly as there are other things I want to do, I want to keep my colon worse. I have since learned that new strides are being made to not immediately go to a bag if you have to have a resection, but I have lived with my mom having part of her bowels missing for over 30 years and it has a lot of unpleasant problems as well.

Last week, I went grocery shopping on Monday night, went to Springfield on Tuesday, fixed stuff for birthday night on Tuesday night, did AWANA Wednesday night, and helped get ready for Grand Prix on Thursday night. For most of my life, this would have been a typical week. Thursday afternoon, I started feeling really bad but assumed I was just tired, after all, this was a lot more than I had done forever. By Friday morning, it was clear I had a sore throat and a cold. I tanked up on cold medicine and went on.

In the middle of this, I had chosen last Monday as my day to wean off the prednisone. I also, decided since I was coming off the prednisone, I would start counting calories again and try to get some of this last prednisone weight back off. Of course, it is natural to want to eat more fruit when you do this. Just for the record, fresh fruit and UC don't mix well if you are having a flare.

This pretty well set me up for a bad time. By Friday evening, my UC was in full flare. Saturday, I tanked back up on prednisone and cold meds and made it through our Grand Prix as well as went with Andrew to Champaign to get supplies for a job. I really didn't feel too bad but knew it was time for some down time.

I stayed home from church Sunday and from work on Monday. I called my doc Monday and got scolded regarding the tapering on such a busy week. What was I thinking??? Well, yeah, after I realized it, I thought the same thing.

So, today, I think I am feeling better. If not really, at least prednisone induced feeling better and that is doable for now. I am so ready to start the new meds and feel totally prepared. If nothing else, I don't think there has been an inch of my body that hasn't been inspected inside and out in the last 2 months and everything looks good except the UC, that's a bright side thing.

I did go ahead and give up hope and getting back to AWANA and I let my friends in the LTC band know that I wasn't coming back for this semester at all. As badly as I wanted to, it is kind of a relief just to have it out there. My evenings now can be planned to be resting most of the time.

Andrew is pretty well booked this month which is a great comfort to me. He has started deciding that if he is doing a good sized job (which he is now), that he will commit to 4 days a week, that way, when someone has a little emergency, or a little job, he isn't making them wait over a month. It is going well. I am so happy that he loves what he is doing. I really don't think I have seen him love his job since he left the tire and lube shop. My only regret is we should have done all this when that happened.

I am not posting this on fb, I am SOOOO tired of feeling like I'm whining. I am really putting this on here as a diary for myself of where I'm at. And, I thought sometime in the future, if the Humira works for me, some of my experiences might help someone else going through it.  So, if you stumble upon this on your own, here it is.

Ahhh...

I had been looking forward to this weekend for so long that I was afraid I might have hyped myself up too much and I would end up being disappointed. I just don't think that will ever truly happen when I get to spend time with my oldest and dearest friends. I left my house at 6:15 on Saturday morning headed to my friend Valerie's house in Onargo, Illinois.I met Tammy there and Valerie drove us into Chicago to Dani's house. From there, Dani took us downtown to the Art Institute. We ate at Potbelly's before getting in line for the art Institute. There is a temporary exhibit of Vincent Van Gogh's Bedroom paintings. This was the first time the three versions have ever been together in the US, and we got to see it! We spent some time standing in line, but it was seriously not a problem to any of us, it just gave us more time to visit. I wrote on my other blog that there is just something different about getting together with these girls. It is totally when I can drop my guard, let my hair down and just be me. These girls know more about me than anyone- even if we go for a while without talking. Anyway, loved the exhibit, took in some other sections of the place then headed back towards Dani's. I know none of us really wanted to leave but we knew we had to get on the road. We left Chicago at 6 and I made it back to my house at 9;58. Oh, also, just for the record, it was over 60° on the 20th of February. And you are welcome, I know of 4 ladies who prayed hard for good weather and God blessed us. 

Tonight was our family night/ Valentine's banquet at church.  We played Bible trivia before our meal. Our team won (yeah us!) and then Mike Saathoff catered our meal. Just a great time. So my weekend was everything I wanted it to be and I am pumped to start a new week. My plans are to be in my own office all week- we'll see how that works out. 

Hope everyone had a fantabulous week!

Happy Sunday!

another update

So, my dreams of making it to February 16th, seeing the infectious disease doc and then getting to start the Humira was dashed. I have a new appointment with him now on March 16th and there is a possibility I will get to start it after that.

I have to tell you, even though I hate waiting, I am so impressed with my doctors and their thoroughness. Dr. Omarro seems to know as much about Humira as Doc Petterson. He asked how long ago I was diagnosed, I said 6 years. He asked if I had ever went 12 months without prednisone: no, I'm on it right now. He said, "then it is time to try this." However, I have already been on Imuran for 3 years, so I have basically no immune system. I take lots of vitamin C and avoid touching others when I can keep from it. Right now, getting sick with a cold, or anything could set back the timeline so I am avoiding pretty much everyone when I can. Tuesday, I got a flu shot, and was told I now needed one every year; I got a tetanus shot and told to get one of those every 5 years. I was tested for Histoplasmosis,Coccidioidomycosis, and Blastomycosis. Apparently these are bacteria that can be found in the area I live. I was tested last week for Hepatitis and TB, both came back negative but this week I was tested to see if I am immune to Hepatitis. If the answer is no, I have to have vaccines for that before I start the Humira. And I was warned that we could jump through all these hoops and start taking the Humira only to find out it doesn't mesh well with my system and I can't take it. Having to be on prednisone yet again right now makes it worth it to me to try. I have lost 11 lbs and gained 16 since the first of the year. That is what prednisone does- and it doesn't matter what I eat, I gain weight. 3 1/2 years ago, I was almost 80 lbs lighter. Not being able to go a year without prednisone has made it impossible to even get a good running start on losing the weight again. Friends of mine who are on Humira say I will feel better, a lot better. I am looking forward to feeling like exercising and being in remission to where I can actually keep something going long enough to see results. 

The more I read about Humira, the more I think I should be worried but I am just not. I am just afraid it is not going to work but I am trying to just have faith that it will. You see that thing going around Facebook about the diseases that you don't "look" sick. This is one of them and somehow I think the UC goes hand in hand with type A personalities who are bound and determined not to let this rule them. My doctor is constantly telling me to slow down and this time I actually have. I do feel guilty about it though. I am hoping a few months of "sitting on the bench" pays off here in another month or so. I am trying to hurry and get over the flare I am having ( the worst is over, just can't get it to stay gone without the prednisone yet). I am living for this coming Saturday and a much needed girls day out with friends. 

That's where we are at right now. I took Mom for an EEG and MRI of her head yesterday, hopefully we will find some answers for her soon too. 

I Reread the above post and feel like it looks like I'm complaining, please don't read it that way. I am not, just trying to get all the facts in one place for friends and family who want to know what is going on. I thank God that I still get to go to work and that I am not in the shape I was 3 years ago. Right now, this seems to be the only health issue I have and compared to what some of my friends are dealing with- this is not a big deal.

Thanks for the prayers though, they are always appreciated!

Safely Through Another Week

This last week has been one of those borderline crazy ones. Friday was probably the craziest as Mom had to be in Terre Haute at 9:30 and Andrew in Casey to have teeth pulled at 1:30, we got through it all though and made it home around 3. I was so relieved to have gotten it all done with no conflicts.

I am thankful to say this has been a better week for my UC. I even went for a mile walk this morning. I love when I get back to being me. I got up at 3 this morning, a little prednisone-induced insomnia, but I loved how my morning went anyway.

I have stopped all of my "extra-curricular" activities until I get the Humira started. My doctor prescribed rest, rest, and rest and I can feel it is working. I miss Yoga on Tuesdays, AWANA on Wednesdays and Band on Thursdays, but this time I have really found the value in coming home of an evening and not doing much. Andrew has fixed supper most of the time so I truly do just come home and veg. A friend of mine from band sent me my music so I can practice, and playing my flute is always good for me.

This week, Mom goes to two doctors tomorrow, and Wednesday I have meetings in Springfield, I have a Mammogram on Thursday. Right now those are the only things on my schedule. I do have to tell you, I have the best assistant in the world. We have a fieldworker out sick and I was trying to figure out how to get that office covered for the week. She made it happen, by doing it herself. I know it is not her favorite thing to do, but so very thankful she was willing. That took a BUNCH of stress off of me, especially as much as I need to be out of the office this week myself.

Andrew has work this week, which is always good, and so life just keeps flying right along. Can't believe tomorrow is February.

I am basically living to be healthy for two things right now. 1st, to be good to go with the Humira injections (hopefully okay-ed after the 16th) and then, three of my best friends from High School and I are going to Chicago to see the Van Gogh exhibit at the Art Institute on the 20th of February. I don't know if some of my childhood friends remember, but I had a dog named Van Gogh. Seeing original Van Gogh's really was on my bucket list. And spending the day with people who know me better than absolutely anyone else in the world, AND like me anyway.....priceless.

Happy Sunday!

Update

Well, if you are are following what is going on with the UC, thought I would share. I did quit bleeding and hurting so bad Tuesday morning, just in time to stay out of the hospital. I am seriously doing 1000 times better than I was a week ago even. I am still tired. I am down to 50 mg of prednisone, but it takes me through a loop of highs and lows, and the ever-present hungry. I am going to try to get up in the morning in time to do some exercise, right now, I'm thinking a Leslie Sansone video, but it is a start.


I have my infection disease appointment on the 16th of February, after I get the okay from him, we can schedule the training for the Humira. I have to see the dermatologist too. I had that appointment scheduled for the 3rd of February but had to reschedule it for a work conflict. It is now on the 25th but Dr. Peterson said we didn't have to wait on it to start the Humira, I will just need to see her once a year for skin cancer screening.


So, this is the week, I am planning on getting life all back to normal. I am planning on going to Holy Yoga on Tuesday (it's restorative night, so it's pretty laid back), AWANA on Wednesday, band on Thursday. Friday, I take Mom to the neurologist in Terre Haute at 9:30 and Andrew to the dentist to have teeth pulled at 1:30. That one may turn into a long day. I also am supposed to play at an LTC ballgame with the Pep Band Saturday night.


So, here is to a normal, no-crazier-than-normal week.......Bring it on!

What's on My Mind

That is a loaded question this week. I last posted the day after my colonoscopy. So much has happened in that time that I'm not even really sure where to begin. We did get Robert a truck, or correction--Robert got himself a truck. Someone told me last night we needed to stop buying him new trucks, so I thought I better confirm; his money, not mine. On Sunday, he broke up with his girlfriend, I do understand his reasons, but this one will still take some adjusting for all of us.

I mentioned last week that I had talked to my doctor Friday night, I was still having issues from having biopsies then, this week, I ended up with a full-on UC flare. I have been in and out of work all week, trying to replicate down time, and sitting with my feet up. When you are a strong type-A personality, you have to consider when not being at work causes you more stress than being there, as I said, I opted for a happy medium. Don't get me wrong, the assistant coordinator CAN do my job, but she is busy too, and I want to do my job. Anyway, holiday tomorrow is a good thing.

I have until Tuesday to get to doing better or I have to go to the hospital. I am not in nearly as much pain now, so I think there is a good chance I will stay away. After talking to my doc again this last Friday night, we are pushing forward with the Humira. I am going to ask for some prayers here. I have a friend who is on it and loves it. My doctor still wants me to be thoroughly checked out before he will approve it. I have to see an infectious disease doctor as well as a dermatologist, then have tests and if it looks like I am a good candidate, we move forward. Because of the consistent damage, it doesn't sound like resection is a possibility; removal would be the other option. I do not want to go there.

I have read the horror stories, I have read the good stuff. The good stuff looks really good and by what I am reading, and what Dr. Peterson has told me, that is why we are jumping through all of these hoops before I start, if it looks like I am likely to wind up a horror story, we aren't going there. I want to be successful. I hate failure, so setting me up to not be a horror story is a good thing.

As I said, prayers are greatly appreciated.

Andrew threw some excitement into the mix this week as well. Sunday, his face swelled up like a balloon. Because of working for himself and just starting out, I had not gotten him dental insurance last year, we went for the year trying to self medicate some bad teeth. Sunday, he was eating garlic, a teaspoon at a time. I had gotten him dental insurance this year and Monday I called to see if it was active, it was, so we made a trip to the dentist. He has a minimum of 6 teeth that need pulled. We are doing 2 on the 29th. The dentist would really like to try to save a couple so he could have a partial plate instead of full on dentures. At least we got him some antibiotics. Needless to say, neither one of us have just felt stellar this week, but he demanded that it was more important for me to rest than him. He has been a God-sent this week, fixing supper, doing laundry, and keeping the dishes done up. It is his slow time of year but he still had work 3 days out of 5 last week. That's a blessing too.

Yesterday, the guys stayed home from the farm and got all of my Christmas decorations taken down. This was one of my main stressors about being home.  I am not supposed to lift when I am having a flare, I am so happy my house is back to normal!

Last night, Andrew and I went to the Jasper County Talent Show, part 1. What awesome talent we have in the JC. Last night's contestants were all smaller kids, Kindergarten through 6th grade. This afternoon it continues with the Jr. High and High School students. I am looking so very forward to it. (and best wishes to my Sunday School student, Ashley!).

We had a huge, unexpected blessing yesterday afternoon too. I had been praying about what all of these medical expenses I was going to rack up was going to do to us and the answer came in the mail. God is good, All the time.

I have asked for some help on facebook about the history of our house, I am finding some really neat information. I am going to have to find out more about Carmen Earnest, sounds like she was someone I would have really liked and I believe she owned this house when I first fell in love with. 

So, it's Sunday morning, time to go get dressed for church, the snow is falling and though it doesn't sound like we are going to get a lot, I love the peacefulness of it.

Meatloaf is made, Mac and Cheese is ready to go in the oven. Sounds like perfect lunch food for snow coming down. I promised the cat I was staying at home all day tomorrow and vegging one more day.

Happy Sunday!

Starting the New Year

I am seeing so many positive posts on facebook that makes it look like 2016 is starting off well for lots of my friends and family. Ours has started off pretty non-eventful, Andrew and I watched tv until about 9:30 and then went to bed on New Year's Eve. I had to get creative to see the Rose Bowl parade this year as with the Roku, I would have had to wait. I watched it from a live feed in California and loved it!

The year started out with a bang at work as well. One of my dear friends and co-workers retired the last working day of the year, so several of us took on new responsibility in her absence. I think it has to be a tribute that several of us are stepping up to fill different areas of her shoes.

I also spent two days with sick verifiers so I took on that hat for a couple of days.  Let me just tell you, that is the one thing that I am so very bad at. Remember, I was never a verifier, so I know I don't do it as well as the girls who do it all the time. I tell all the vendors this as well. It is good to get to talk with them on this level and I know it is good for me to switch gears and remember what the girls in the field are going through.

Thursday was the highlight of my week, or not. I had a colonoscopy. My third colonoscopy in 5 years and 5 months. I do have to tell you, because I have Ulcerative Colitis, they did a "gentle prep" and I have to say it was a million times better than the first time. My second one, 151 weeks to the day from the third one, was unplanned and unprepped, it was still not fun.  I guess I gave them quite a scare though yesterday. I was already under the first sedation medicine and I was talking to one of the nurses. We were talking about being type A. Right before I went out, I said, "I am so Type A, I will probably drive home". They all went in a frenzie, and apparently went running to Andrew and telling him to NOT let me drive home. Well, duh......why do they listen to anything said after sedation?
When I woke up, I was seeing three of everything and felt like I was being raced very quickly down the hallway by two very fast talking nurses. The downside is I heard what they were talking about---how many biopsies my doctor took. The nurses lost count.

I need to back up and say, I was really expecting this report to be better. As I was down to seeing two of everything, here come Doctor Peterson. He told me he wasn't happy, things were worse. I then proceeded to tell him I had quit taking one of my meds because I realized it was causing some problems. So he told me a different one he wanted to try.

After I got a little more with it, I started realizing what he said, and was pretty sure what he wanted to do, I didn't. This morning, I did some research on the medicine he wanted to start me on and sure enough, it contained Asacol. The worst of the worst for me. I emailed him.

Let me just tell you, I have THE. BEST, DOCTOR, IN, THE, WORLD. He called me at 5 this evening and apologized for not remembering my adversity to Asacol. Okay, he made that decision standing over me, without any of my records. He really thought he should have remembered I can't handle it. Okay, I know, I would have been the same way, but somehow when he does it, I know that's not normal. Anyway, I have a friend who was just put on Humira and loves it, so I told him her results. He wants me to wait a couple of weeks on just what I am doing now and see where I am, I am to call him back in two weeks and let him know how I am doing, if I think I need the Humira, we will go forward. If I think I am doing well, we won't go there yet. have I mentioned I have the best doctor in the world? I told Andrew last night on our way home, he is such a sweet, caring guy, I truly hope he has a life outside of his medical practice.

Oh, and of course, he had to tell me why he took so many biopsies. He didn't see anything that looked like cancer but he still needs to monitor for change. If there would be any significant change, it could be pre-cancer and we would have to talk about removing the colon. I am so not ready to go there and I did promise him that if I didn't feel like I was doing really well in two weeks I would gladly sign up for a shot in my stomach once a week.

So, today, I was back at work, lots to do but it was a good day because I got lots done. :-)

Tomorrow we go look at a truck for Robert to replace the one he totaled the day after Christmas. Funny, he found this one at the same dealership he got his first really nice car, so we are hoping it is just as nice. I also have my next devotional on my other blog Louder Than the Voices ready to go. Check it out after about 2 in the morning.

So, 2016 isn't off to a bad start for us either, Andrew has had work this week and that is great for this time of year and we are all still standing.

Happy Friday night!

The Blog Before the Blog

Blogging this year has apparently been difficult for me. That is going to make what I am about to tell you seem really far-fetched. I am getting ready to start a second blog. I have been mentally and spiritually preparing for this since October. That is probably part of the reason this blog has been having such a struggle.


See, I have felt the calling to write for years, seriously, years. I have used that in little bits and pieces. When I had the Jr. High and High School AWANA kids, I would right short devotionals based around their lives and things going on in the world. Usually having them read a verse a day to get them in their Bibles at least a minute each day. I have also written some random devotionals here and there and sometimes even here on this blog. I have been feeling a stronger pull lately though, it seriously started with the night we went to see Matthew West.


Robert got us tickets for this concert and I have to tell you I was thrilled to death. Matthew West is my absolute favorite singer/songwriter/performer. I love the fact that he writes his music based on people's lives. When he wrote the song, Do Something, it reminded me so much of why I go to work everyday. However, at that concert, we got to visit with Matthew before the main event. He had asked me what my favorite song was (after I asked what his was, and he never did answer). He told me this song came back to haunt him though because he would get to feeling like he really didn't do enough. THAT was when it started.


So, I know I get to do an awesome job that helps people and truly changes lives. I try to make sure Jesus shows in me with every person I come into contact with ( and yes, I fail at this :-( but I do try).  But, I also know I bring home a paycheck for this work too. I have heard the Lord tell me I need to do more for Him out of the shear "want" to do more for Him.


It was not three days later, that a friend of mine (and the wife of one of our past pastors) posted something to my timeline about How to Write for the Lord. It was a series by Lysa TerKeurst (author of Made to Crave-one of my favorites). This made the bells go off even louder, how did she know to do that? Well, duh.....


So, I have been following what I can of that, most of that followed into how to be published, and I'm not sure I even want to go there right now, I am more concerned about getting some devotionals out there to help my friends, and their friends, and probably, truth-be-told, more than anyone else, it will help me.


A few days after that another friends had ran 16 miles (I think), getting ready for a marathon. As many of us encouraged her on through facebook, she made some statement about that little voice in her head that told her she couldn't do this. I made the statement to let us be louder than the voices. That phrase stuck in my head. God can be louder than the voices (who I sometimes just downright claim is the Devil talking), WE can be louder than the voices for each other too and that is what I am hoping to accomplish.


Because of our crazy busy lives, I am only committing myself to one post a week, on Saturday mornings, when hopefully, you have a little time to sit and unwind, and gear up for another week.
I am going to have a short post on Friday the 1st, just doing the general intro stuff to the blog and then HOPEFULLY, if all goes as planned, the first weekly post/ devotional will be up on the 2nd.


I want it dedicated only to what I write for God, which is why I am keeping it separate from my personal blog, which I also hope to do better with in 2016.


So, the new blog is setup, you go there, you will see there are no posts, but it is coming and as the day draws closer, the more excited I get.


So my faithful readers here ( and I seriously can't believe there are more than 2 but the little counter thing says otherwise), you get to be the first let in on this. Say some prayers for me, I want to do this, but I want to do it right.


Tune in on January 1 to see what is up. www.louderthanthevoices.blogspot.com 


Happy New Year's Eve eve,


and Happy Wednesday.

Airing up the tire......

So, one day, over a week ago, I got this email--

Excuse me….I have been on vacation for a week…come home…Patty updated her page and there is Mindy’s blog stuck at the side of the road with a flat tire.  It’s been since October 17^th since you updated.  How do I know if what I am doing is exciting or not if you don’t update?  Just putting in my 2 cents.

 

Have a great day.

I replied that I would try to update that day, and here it is, over a week later, so, I sent the short rundown and will copy and paste that here, as well as add/ adjust as necessary.

What has happened since the last time I blogged:

My mom was back in the hospital.

They have ran every test in the book but wouldn’t fix her head.

She took cold medicine and it fixed her head.

I went to the doctor for me.

I’m fine but he knows I am not exactly truthful with that at all times.

I have a colonoscopy scheduled for January 4^th

I got to meet “the” girlfriend, and very  much like her.

I got to meet her mom and little girl also, ditto.

They all came to my house for Thanksgiving

Andrew turned 51 Friday (the 27th).

Liz, the dog, turned 10 yesterday (the 29th)

I have to be in Robinson 4 separate times between now and Saturday. Tonight being #1. (last week, just have to be there once this week- tomorrow night for a ballgame)

I am going to Springfield Wednesday, -- I went to Springfield Wednesday, with a client in tow as well as our Executive Director and Fiscal Officer. We attended a press conference as well as a LIHEAP roundtable.)

This week, we FINALLY got our money given back to us!!! Whoo hoo! (please understand, State LIHEAP money was passed through the legislation and the Governor signed to give it back).

I STILL don't have my Christmas tree up and am strongly debating if it is even going up or not.

We celebrated our 24th anniversary Sunday, I have officially been married to my best friend half my life.

We are going to see Lee Greenwood Friday night.

I forgot to slip in there that we went to see Matthew West, we got to meet him and he sang Do Something because it was my favorite song.

I am supposed to take a personal day sometime between now and the end of the year and I can't figure out when I can fit it in.

I also dropped out of my QuickBooks class, failed to mention that above too.

I am very ready to have 2015 behind us and to start 2016, though I want to start on the 5th, read closely above and you will catch why :-).

So there, caught up, as it is going to be for a while anyway.

Oh, and because of the list above, the person who sent the email decided she had life pretty good, glad I could be of assistance, lol.

Happy Wednesday!

Mom's Hospital Experience

Several have asked what was actually wrong with my mom and it's a long story. I also hadn't written anything on my blog for 6 weeks, sorry folks, I really hate it when I do that myself. September's memories are relegated to my calendar at work, where I write down all the important stuff.

To really tell you what happened, I have to back up to August 23rd. The guys and I were out of town for the day and Mom was working at her garden. Sometime that afternoon, she fell, tripping over tomato vines and falling head over heals, landing on her head. The next day, she had a little bit of a stiff neck and started developing a headache, but she didn't even put the two incidents together. For the next five weeks, she had the stiff neck and the headache. She didn't tell me about either one until the 3rd week of September. She knew I had to be on a trip the last week of September and was afraid I wouldn't go if I knew how long this had been going on. Also, one of her dearest friends was in the final stages of her life and she didn't want to be in the hospital and not get to say her final goodbyes. The friends funeral was on the 4th of October, so after the funeral, I convinced her to call the doctor on Monday morning. On the 6th, we went to her appointment at 8:15. (Insert Dr. Mindy Browning's diagnosis here--I was wholeheartedly thinking that her real problem was probably TIA's and that her Eliquis had to be adjusted- I assumed we would have a CTscan and they would see that and either call Dr. Gest or send us to Evansville). When we saw Melissa, she did send us for the CT, and told us to wait in Olney for the results. It took 5 minutes to do the scan and an hour waiting. When they finally came in, they said Melissa was on the phone for us. She told us that it wasn't the problem she was expecting, that there had been bleeding in her brain but it had stopped, leaving some scar tissue. She had asked the Dr. to look at it, but she was currently in with a patient, so we were probably safe to come back to Newton until we heard from the doctor. We had left Mom's car at Melissa's office so we told her we would check with her when we got there.

Insert #2 (please keep in mind, in the back of our thoughts was the fact that Mom has one brother who died of brain cancer). We get to the office and they tell us, yes, they have heard from the doctor and we needed to have a seat and wait on Melissa. All kinds of things go through your mind when they don't just say, "Oh, everything is okay, we will get you some meds for your neck and headache and have a good day". When Melissa pulled us in her office, she said she was sorry we drove back because now they wanted Mom to go to the ER, apparently they saw some inflammation they didn't like.  So, we took her car to my house and drove back down. We were a little dumbfounded as we really didn't think she was in any shape to need the ER. She had a couple of what she called "nuisance problems". 4 hours later, the doctor came in and said they were admitting her. She was not happy until he mentioned that they would have to give her steroids for the inflammation. Then she understood. Diabetes and steroids are not an easy combination to control. At the time, we were still thinking 2-3 days and we would go home.

That night, the doctor came in and said she believed Mom had temporal arteritis, she said it goes hand in hand with Poly Myalgia Rheumatica which we already knew she had. She was going to give her prednisone for a couple of days, and send her home. When it was all better, they would have to do a biopsy on the temperol artery to see if that was the confirmed diagnosis. Sounded good, and we thought we had a plan.

The NEXT day, the doctor came in and said she felt like the diagnosis was wrong, Mom's white count had been on a steady rise since she had been admitted and they now believed she might have meningitis. The best the doctor could think of is that when she fell, she gave herself a concussion and there was some bleeding, which allowed a spot for infection to get in. She doesn't know where she got the actual meningitis germ, but she wanted to do a spinal tap to confirm the diagnosis. We believed this was going to happen on Wednesday evening. Then, as quick as this all started, everything was brought to an abrupt halt. Mom is on meds for Afib. She would have to be off of them for 48 hours before they could do the spinal tap and my understanding at first, was that they didn't want her off of that medicine for 48 hours. We were told they could switch her to heparin but the doctor said no, we just would not do the spinal tap. I didn't understand that at all, at the time.

When the doctor came in the next day, she said they had went ahead and started her on the antibiotics for meningitis and Mom was responding. She explained to me the only way that they could have gotten a confirmed diagnosis was through the spinal tap however, they could not start treating it until after the spinal tap was completed. That turned the light bulb on for me as she told me she didn't want to wait 2 more days to treat it. She thought Mom has had the meningitis longer than  she should have to start with and that we were probably on the brink of a disaster.

The doctor then told Mom this was a 10 day, very strong antibiotic combination and that she would either have to have visiting nurses twice a day or stay in the hospital in isolation for the 10 days. I called the doctor and just told her that if Mom was supposed to rest for those 10 days, she better figure out a way to keep her in the hospital because she was already getting antsy about sweet potatoes and gladiolas needing dug before we had a freeze. The doctor told her she could come home on Friday the 16th and that is what we started shooting for.

On Thursday, the 15th, she spiked a 103° fever, had a sore throat and a stomach ache. I was afraid this threatened her chances of coming home. She got over it almost as fast as it came on though and the myriad of tests they ran all came back negative for any new complications.

I brought her home to a very happy dog and several very happy cats last night. She has been told until her immune system is better, she needs to stay away from people as much as possible. I would really like for her to wear a mask when she even runs to the store, which she was told she could do. I don't know if I can get her to do that though. I'm hoping plan B is just to let me and the guys pick up anything she needs. She will have weekly blood tests and Melissa will be able to tell her by them when she can be back around people. I have a doctor's appointment in Springfield on the 13th of November, that is two days before her birthday and we were planning on meeting my sister there for lunch. Her goal is to be able to go that day.

So, my one-stop-shop here for what's going on. Sorry it was long, Mom is never easy or normal. That is just the fact.

Catching up the blog, bullet-style

I hate it when I get so far behind and there really has been things happening. Ugh!

I had already decided that I would spend my lunch hour trying to catch up August before September set in. I had also decided that it would be a bullet-point/ pictures post because of lots to say and not much time to say it in. Ironically, my timehop showed me a blogpost I did last year, on this same date, and lo and behold, I was doing the same thing, in bullets, no less.

Anyway, we have had SO MUCH going on the last 10 days and I really want to get it preserved, so, here goes....

• On Friday evening August 21st, my friend, Karen came for a sit on the porch. It was so good to catch up with her. She is an operating room nurse, so I got to hear lots of really neat stories. Glad she likes to do that, because as much as it's needed, that would have to be one of those things I would say I probably couldn't do. We had a wonderful visit and what I thought was actually about an hour was really 3, definitely one of the nights where the quote from the end of Stand By Me applies, about not ever having friends like you had when you were twelve. I am so very glad Karen is one of those friends and look forward to her stopping by again!

• On August 22nd, we headed to Indiana for a family day, we stopped at a great little hole-in-the-wall diner in Vincennes for breakfast, took in the farmer's market there and then headed south. On our way out of town, we saw the Military museum, which intrigued the guys, and since it was really just one of those, we are going to do whatever we want days, we stopped. 3 hours later, we were back on the road. After taking a detour to see where the watermelon bus was going, we headed to Santa Claus, IN. We took in the museum there as well as the post office, church and the Christmas store. I got a belated birthday present in that Andrew found me a Willow Tree holding a gray cat.-- Perfect.

• We then went on to Owensboro KY to one of our favorite BBQ joints, Moonlite Inn. Always good, it was great! After making a quick trip to Harbor Freight and Menards, we were homeward bound. Great day!

• On the 23rd, we had a fish fry and carry-in at our church. David and Leslie Heath caught the fish (tons of it) and Mark Ervin fried it up, it was wonderful!

• We didn't have church that night, so we got to start preparing for the real work ahead of us the next day. Robert was on vacation, so Andrew and I both took the day off and we put down 5.5 tons (yes that is 11,000 lbs!) of rock around two sides of our house. This was my real birthday present from Andrew; my mom also had given me money for my b-day and it went to buy some of the barrier and trim.
  

• Monday was also Robert's birthday, his only present, which he asked for MONTHS ago, a pair of Ray-Bans. The main reason he wanted them, and wanted these in particular? There was a pair of them in my dad's truck when Robert first inherited it. My dad never had a beard, but I know by looking at Robert what he would have looked like if he did. The glasses are really nice.
  

 

• On the 27th, I went for my second week of band, we almost doubled in size, going from 6 to 11 and there was another flautist! and I was no longer the oldest one there! Double good things!

• On the 29th, I attended a two hour introduction to some different fitness classes being offered by our local Dance Hall Studio, what fun....I'm won two free classes of Holy Yoga; a regular class and a restorative class. Taking the regular one tomorrow night, the restorative is offered the 4th Tuesday, I thought I was going to be gone for it, but I just realized, I'm actually out of town on the 5th Tuesday, it's all good.

These were kinda long bullets, but oh well,

Here's some shorter ones.

 

• In my own "recommit to fit", I have lost 5 lbs in August and logged 28.2 miles in morning walks.

• I am walking 2 miles on workdays, 1 mile on Saturday and hopefully 3 mile on Sundays starting this coming Sunday.

• We get to start LIHEAP October 1, normally , we start September 1, but better late than never, especially this year.

That's it, all caught up, bring on September!

48

When I was a kid, I never really imagined being 48, or more practical to imagine, 50. I truly believed something would happen to me and I would die young. I have no clue why I thought that but I truly couldn't imagine life beyond a year or two ahead, especially before Andrew and Robert. I think, and some of you will think this is weird, I was more prepared to die then than now. I remember very specifically telling a friend of mine that dying wasn't a big deal; Heaven would be fantastic and I would be with the Lord, here was okay, but there would be great. (That particular friend was agnostic, and I lost track of him for a few years, then I heard he had passed away--his services were in a church, so I PRAY that means he had changed his mind about God). And then I met Andrew.....and started those fantasies of growing old together. I still am most definitely not afraid to die, and I still know I will go to Heaven, but there are days that I want to see the next page before I go. I'm at that point. I hope I get to see my son married, and happy, ( and living in the blessed house that is going on 2+ years in the remaking). I am even starting to be hopeful of seeing grandkids someday.

Anyway.......yesterday was number 48. I started out the day with a mile walk, the 5th one of the week, today, I upped it to 1.5. We went to church, went to lunch at my cousin's nephew's place and then to my mom's and I helped, or supervised or something, while the guys laid new linoleum on her back porch. We got done in time to get home for a little rest before church last night. It was a good day, made golden by the fact that my mom made me a carrot cake. My favorite.

We really started celebrating Saturday, as Andrew needed to go to Evansville to pick up a flooring order. That meant we were going to be in the same town as the Acropolis, and I thought it was an opportune time to take advantage of a date night. I love working date nights like that. I love watching Andrew live his dream and being there beside him as he does. It was good to just be in the van together and visit for a while, we even stopped and got ice cream cones in Sumner on our way home, just a fun afternoon.

I had a yard sale that morning, my goal was $200 and I made $198, not bad, not bad at all.

So today, I go back to work and got to celebrate one more time. The girls I work with all brought in goodies for breakfast this morning. I love my job, and half of the reason I do is because of the people I work with. When they can make a Monday morning, especially the first one back from vacation, feel special, they are good-- really good. I also had presents waiting on me, conference calls just got a lot more fun because Sheila got me my own little dodads that I can fiddle with while listening.
(I tried to upload a picture, with a no-go, will try later)



So, now I have two weeks of whirlwind, let's see if 48 can keep up like 47 did, my bet is on a yes. We have an AWANA conference tomorrow, church Wednesday, Band Thursday, media night Friday AND a friend is coming to sit a spell on the porch, Saturday we are taking our family day to southern Indiana, (and Owensboro KY for some Moonlite BBQ). Sunday we are having a fish fry at church and Monday, we are all taking the day off and hauling Rock into the spaces around our house. Next Tuesday night, I am having a GNO with some friends, then Church and Band again and the 28th I have nothing going on.....yet......gonna be fun.

So, it's a little after 9 and I better be hitting the hay.....Here's to getting to 49.

Happy Monday,

July in the Rearview

In a lot of ways, I would have to rack July up as a bad month, a month where as a State, we are exactly where we were a month ago and even to me, seeing the side of it that I do, there seems to be a lot of people not thinking there is much being affected by not having a State budget; when in reality, it's been a rough month for a lot of people. Many of our fellow agencies have already closed their doors, it is sad and scary; and as scary as it is for the ones of us who work for these programs, and our own jobs; I don't think there is a one of us that isn't feeling sorry for ourselves, we are scared to death for our clients. We have been told not to really expect anything before September now as far as a budget. We still have Federal LIHEAP, as the Governor seems to be pointing out to everyone he can; unfortunately, at the moment, we have no authorization to run that program because the appropriations are tied to having a budget. We are pushing forward, planning on October 1, but at this point, I can't say with any certainty that we will get to start then. All of this tied up in politics when it shouldn't even be there. Anyway, that's workwise. As far as personal life, things have been better, thankfully. I started out the month with a concert in the park with the Robinson Community band. I decided that I would join the LTC band in the fall because this really was the equivalent of a really good massage for me, as far as clearing my mind. That starts on August 20th. I was in the LTC band before, specifically, three quarters in 1984- I was in high school. So, here it is, 30 plus years later and I am going back. At that time, I sat second chair to Ann Taylor, I so admire her, and wish she was here to play too. She moved away many years ago and I do see pictures from Joanie, I am very sure she still plays. So, I am starting back to college again, however, I am going to be officially enrolled in two different colleges. I was needing a class or two on quickbooks to help me do Andrew's books. So, I am taking two online QuickBooks classes though OCC. So, I guess I'm "dual-enrolled", lol. Not exactly like some of the kids I have known who would go to EIU all day and OCC of a night, but it sounds good. I will have 30 credits when I am done, unfortunately, I am still a long way from an actual Associates because the classes are all over the place. Andrew's business is going well, July was our busiest month yet. We had a renewal of the website that he uses to figure his prices last week, so we realized we started talking about this a year ago. Wow, it has been lots of ups and downs, and praying we were doing what God wanted us to. I had told people for years they had to have more faith and God has tested me first hand this year, as there have been times this year that I didn't see how on earth it was going to work out and He let things fall into place at just the right time that it made me feel like He was just putting His hand on my head and saying, "I am in control, not you." I'm afraid He has had to do that more than once. July and the beginning of August has been big for Robert too. He not only got his big white diesel, but he and his dad got floor laid in the living room of his house. This is big. The last two weeks they have gotten up at 4:30 on Saturday morning, and headed up to beat the heat. I get my stuff done here and then when they get home, I can have Andrew for part of the day. Robert normally has other things going on. Robert also celebrated two years in his job this last week. He is still loving every minute of it. He is truly living the dream. When you kid is happy, you feel successful, no matter what else is going on. So, looking forward to August, hopefully bringing better things for work. If you read the last post and follow me on fb, we have decided to really TRY to make a trip to NYC in December 2016. It will be our 25th wedding anniversary and we are very used to most of the road out there. From here to Harrisburg, PA, we travelled every 6 weeks from the time Robert was born until we moved to Pontiac IL, almost 2 years later. I am taking a week of vacation starting the 10th. I am so excited that I am starting my vacation by seeing my friend Sally, (also mentioned in my last post!) My mom has some projects and I am having a yard sale the 15th so it will be a busy week. On our July 4th family trip, we decided to take a family day every 6 weeks. Our next one will be August 22nd. We are headed to southern Indiana. We are going to those places you pass on the way to Holiday World and vow to go back to some other time. We also realized we will only be 35 minutes from Owensboro, KY, which means a trip to Moonlite BBQ! This is the Saturday between mine and Robert's birthdays so we thought this sounded perfect. I should post pictures, but I'm lazy and it's time to get to church. Happy Sunday, and Happy August!

Just For the Fun of It.

     It has been a while since I have posted one of those "here's mine, what's yours" post. I can't even explain what work has been like since the first of July. I try very hard not to feel guilty when my clients call and want to know what they are supposed to do. I haven't slept well, to say the least. Tuesday afternoon, I took off early, mainly because I had big company at work Monday and I had been nervous about that, and then we had VBS, so Tuesday morning, I felt a little like I had been hit by a Mack truck. Anyway, I took off Tuesday afternoon with the intent of listening to a friend of mine testify before the House of Representatives and then take a nap before Tuesday night's Bible school. Ended up, Jen didn't start her testimony until 2, along with 2 clients from other agencies and Dalitso, our Association's president. They didn't get done until after 3, they did a great job, and I was floored by all the questions--that's a good thing though.

Anyway, I didn't end up taking a nap. Tuesday night, I was finally tired enough though, I slept, and I slept so well that I dreamed. I don't remember dreaming forever. If I have ever even met you, you were more than likely in that dream. I couldn't believe how many people I saw that night, how many people were brought to mind that I hadn't thought of for years.

And there were the weird things, like worlds colliding. I dreamed I was sitting on a bench in the mall in Mattoon. I was sitting there with Sally Furry. Sally and I first met when I worked at the Dairy Queen, in 1986.  She helped me get my job at Walmart in 1989 and though we went a while without seeing each other, thanks to facebook, we at least know we are both alive and well. The mall was busy, very busy---that is an oddity all by itself, and then there was a conga line running through it. This is where all of you come in. It was crazy long, Susan Shull and Debbie Diel were leading it. Some people say you don't dream in color.....I dream in color. Susan and Debbie were wearing the brightest colored outfits that I had ever seen. In typical style for them though, they both looked like they stepped out of a magazine. I DO know why I saw those two, I had been reading about their trip abroad and enjoying getting to see Italy through their eyes. Brenda McDade, my boss until she retired, was in the line too, she came and hugged me and Sally like she hadn't seen us in a million years (I'm not sure if Brenda and Sally even know each other that well in real life, Sally did go to school with Brenda's son Mike). If I was trying to interpret my dream, that probably has some deep meaning about all that is going on and me wondering if I am really capable of everything I need to be doing at work and wondering if it would be better if Brenda was back. But who knows, as I said, there were people I hadn't even thought of for years, it was actually kind of cool, but has gotten me in a nostalgic mood.

I took off work early yesterday too, I was going to work on my basement but Mom had three tubs of tomatoes that needed worked up and I wanted to make spaghetti sauce so I spent the afternoon in my kitchen. Ever since the night of the dream, I have been craving Steve Winwood music. So, I pulled up my Rhapsody account and started playing one Winwood song after another...The Finer Things, Back in the High Life, Arc of a Diver, and on and on.
I am one of those people who tacks a song to a memory or a memory to a song, not sure which. But here is a list of some of my favorite memories/ songs, as of right this moment anyway.

Chicago: Hard Habit to Break--this song reminds me of my Senior speech class. I loved speech and if I would have attacked every class like that one, I would have had straight A's. Anyway, for our final, we had to give a 25 minute speech. We could use any kind of prop or other media for up to 10 minutes. My speech was on our class, the Class of 1985. When I told Mrs. Wiman what I wanted to do, she said it was fine, but if I shed one tear, she would flunk me, especially when I told her what my media was. I played 10 minutes of things that happened our Senior year, from the announcements, to just noise in the hallway, to a blurb, "Newton Marching Eagles, you may take the field for competition", to some of the songs that was popular at the time. This was going to be the song that I knew I had to make it through without crying. What was worse was, it truly did make others in our class cry. I didn't though. I never knew how much public speaking would be a part of my life but to this day, I know better than to cry, I told some pretty personal stuff about myself and my childhood last year at a meeting, but I didn't cry. Oh, and one last memory. David Casey was supposed to be the time keeper, our speech was to be 25 minutes long, with a little leeway on each side, I can't remember how much. My speech was exactly 25 minutes, and I will never forget hearing David say it was.

REO Speedwagon- Can't Fight This Feeling--I was working at the Dairy Queen and it was the summer of 1989. I hadn't worked there very long when a tall husky blond headed guy came in with this much older woman. We started talking immediately about how much he looked like Bruce Hall. So, Dibber, who waited on him, told him, he looked just like Bruce Hall. He laughed, as did the little, older lady that was with him. He said he was Bruce Hall. Turns out his grandma lived in Greenup and he would come down every so often to see her. They came in for lunch about every time he came down. A friend of mine, Tony McMorris,  mowed this grandma's yard and ended up with tickets and back stage passes to their show at Shelbyville. Tony couldn't go so he gave the tickets to his sister, Heather and me. That was probably one of my favorite concerts ever. Bruce came over and treated us like he had known us forever.

Bryan Adams--Everything I Do. The summer before Andrew and I got married, I spent a lot of time with several people from Walmart. I was going through the aftermath of a major breakup with a guy that I had dated for over a year and knew it would never go any farther than it had gone and it was time to cut the cord. I also was going through having a major crush on a member of management that I knew I couldn't date. One of the guys I worked with was going through a lot of things too and all of our friends had significant others so we decided to spend the summer un-dating. We were friends and it was great, no expectations, but someone to go do things with when everyone else was in pairs. One night that summer, we went to see Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, this song was the love theme. I absolutely fell in love with the song. The crush didn't let up and things started happening with my job so I ended up in a different store, As soon as I did, that crush, now my husband, asked me out. Everything I Do played at the restaurant on our first date and it became our song. I have totally lost track of my un-dating friend, Ray Fread, but he was in that conga line too, I'm sure people who I haven't seen for a long time would appreciate this dream because they all looked like they did the last time I saw them. I ran into Ray at an auction probably 20 years ago, he still looked the same then, so he looked 25 or so in my dream. Sorry to those of you I see regularly, you just looked like you.

Tears for Fears--Everybody Wants to Rule the World. This too reminds me of my senior year, yearbook and Marc Alblinger. Funny, Marc was one of those friends too, that guy friend you could talk to but didn't think anything further about it. Yet another reason I love facebook. Marc travels-- a lot, and I love seeing all the places he and his wife have been. The one place, out of ALL the places he's been, that I am most envious of is, believe it or not; Broadway to see Wicked. I'm gonna do that one of these days, Part of me says it won't surprise me if I end up in Greece, or Italy, or someplace someday, but I know I will make it to see Wicked on Broadway. Anyway, I heard this song today and it always reminds me of Marc. He introduced me to Tears for Fears before they were popular here because of his overseas connections. He bought me this album for graduation, I'm sure my mom even knows every word to every song because it was played constantly that summer.
 
I have so many more, but it is almost 10 and Andrew has already went to bed, so I best be heading that direction. Nice to take a little walk down memory lane. If I spend any amount of time with you, I probably have a song that I can connect, that's how my brain works. Something really funny is Robert does that too. I know we aren't normal because I mention this to people and they look at me like I have 3 heads, but oh well.

Sorry if this blog bored you (if you made it this far), this was a totally for me, maybe having a middle age crisis, kind of thing.

Happy Saturday.

and Life Goes On.....

There have been periods of time in the last 8 days that have been downright heart wrenching to me. On June 2, Governor Rauner vowed to suspend the LIHEAP program if he did not have a budget he liked in place. On June 30th, I sat, linked to two of my friends who also worked with the program and literally watched as 53,000+ Illinois residence lost their Percentage of Income Payment Plan. my screen was up to one particular client, and my friend, Jen's screen was up to the active report. I was kicked out of the system about 11:45 and her screen went blank at 12:02. It was seriously watching a death. The next day, we had to start telling our clients. Many of my PIPP clients are seniors. We had sent letters out in April telling them we were doing our re-certification process different this year and that we would send a letter closer to time for them to come in. They were calling me just to make sure they hadn't missed their letter. I had to start telling them, "at 12:01, July 1, the PIPP program was dropped throughout the state". Yesterday, I had a lady tell me that it looked like this was the last straw and as much as she hated it, she was going to probably be moving to Joliet and moving in with her kids. I have had so many tears this week, and I want to cry right along with them. I had a lady last week that thanked me for everything I had done, she is 85, she was crying. I hung up and cried, because as many times as we made trips to Springfield to try to educate the Governor and legislators, it didn't work and I have felt like a failure.
     I continued to tell all of my clients to call their legislators, and hand out their phone numbers. I did apparently have one that was tired of the phone calls and told one of my clients to tell me to call him. He has vowed to come down and let us teach him more about PIPP, I hope he holds to that.
     Right now, we are not counting on having any State funds at all, even though, the state funds are not and never have been part of the General Revenue Fund. In 2002, a bill was passed enacting the 48 cent meter charge on the utility companies that have over 100,000 clients. This is part of a customer service charge on the utility bill. In this Act, that money was specifically to be used to help low-income families. Last week, on July 1st, as a matter of fact, just hours after our program was stopped, the Governor borrowed some of that money to pay bills while there is no budget. I do not understand how that is legal, and things like this takes time to sort out.
     I do very well understand that this is just one of many issues going on with the state having no budget. I also know that to take away the PIPP program, where people are being responsible for paying 6% of their income to their energy bill every month, is just nuts. I had people who were finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They were being able to budget, manage their bills, and work on making life better for themselves and their families. It is just truly nothing short of heart wrenching.
     Many of our fellow agencies have shut down at least the Energy Assistance departments. Because we are structured to where all of our fieldstaff work with all the programs, right at the moment, we are still open. We closed the offices last Wednesday because we had no clear direction yet as to if we had the authority to pay staff without a budget. I am praying for a resolution soon but I truly thought it would happen last week. Now the Senate is off until the 14th, I don't know how they do that, knowing so many lives are at stake.  I hope people remember this when election time rolls around.


There have been a couple of bright spots in our personal life at least. Last Saturday, the 4th, the boys both had the day off and I did so we decided to take a daytrip. Our original plans were to go to the Alton/Grafton area, but when I started looking things up, I found out most of it was still closed due to flooding. Plan B....Springfield. It's a little ironic, because of course, that seems to be my home away from home but when I go, it's usually all business and I don't spend much time doing the touristy stuff. We went to the Old State Capitol, and then walked over to the new State Capitol. I was amazed at 1) how EMPTY it was compared to the last few times I have been there and 2) those days that we were there and things were so chaotic, tours were still being given every 30 minutes. The upside of that, is like me, they got to go into the chambers and watch as laws were being made, whereas on Saturday, nobody was there. The funny thing to me was, when we go during the week, after you pass security, you go where you want, when you want. So, since we had walked quite a ways, I had told the guys that we would run to the basement and get a water out of the pop machine as soon as we got there. So we get through security and they tell us to wait in the rotunda for the next tour, and I asked if we could run downstairs and get a drink.....no. Okay, so when the Governor and most of the legislators are in house, you go where you want, when they aren't, you can't even go get a bottle of water......yeah, I'm from Illinois. We also went to Lincoln's Home and then back to Coles County Airport for fireworks. It was a good day, and it was nice to see a different side of the Capitol. The lady that was our tour guide was amazing at knowing all of the art work, some of it I had looked up on the internet but some I had never really noticed until the building wasn't so crowded.

Then, another bright spot of the week, Robert has wanted a diesel pick-up truck for, well, forever as far as he is concerned, Through a series of events between him and one of his best friends, he now owns one. It stands about a mountain's height tall and we had to get a wooden box for me to stand on to get in it, and then Garrett still had to pull me up into the seat. I am very proud of it for him. Typical mechanic, he now owns 6 vehicles, 2 will run someday and be restored, one needs the rest of the parts taken off of it and then scrapped and one he is hoping to get on the market soon. It truly has been a bright spot though, seeing him so thrilled.

Hope I have better news on the workfront soon.

Until then,

Overwhelmed

That describes so much of my life right now. I don't know that I have ever felt like I have been pulled in so many different directions or that I have had so many things that should be taking first place in my life right now.

Our situation with State LIHEAP funds is a mess, and there is no easy way to tell what all is going on. Bottom line though, the Governor wants to use money that isn't his (or the State's). When he didn't get by with that, he simply "suspended" our ability to use it coming July 1. In theory, having it stopped for a few days shouldn't be any big deal; in reality, any gap in service shuts down our entire Percentage of Payment Plan. That is looking more real every day. There are many things that are simple solutions, and you would think that lifting the suspension would be a simple solution. The secondary problem is at the State level, guess who runs the LIHEAP program? Duh, State workers. If we have no budget July 1, many of them will not be supposed to go to work. Things are just a mess and I just can't help but think of my many, many clients, especially my seniors who are caught in the crossfire. It makes me want to throw up, and since I'm a stress eater, it makes me want to eat. That is a weird feeling, nausea and supposed hunger all at the same time.

That brings me to another dilemma, I have been letting my weight get completely away from me. UGH!!  It is the stress and I know it. When I get home of an evening, all I want to do is eat and sleep. I don't want to get out of bed of a morning because I know the possibility of yet another really bad day is on the horizon.  Thursday night though, I got on the scales. I know, you aren't supposed to weight of an evening, but I did. I was at a number worse than I had ever seen and it scared me, badly. Needless to say, I have spent the weekend trying to get ahold of myself and I am heading in the right direction. I have planned out every bite I am eating this week and plan to have the rest of the month and into July planned by the end of the week. I am forcing myself to get out of bed and exercise. I also am finding that I still remember what having a lot of this weight off felt like. That is nerve wracking as well because I relate all of my exercise to trying to do it while carrying ALL of my groceries in at one time, and that is how clumsy I feel after gaining all this weight. Part of it truly was 3 months back on prednisone, but a lot of it was not.

I am supposed to speak at the LIHEAP conference on August 12th, that gives me a goal and something to work HARD for. I wish I had the time to try to do something like the Biggest Loser. I truly know if I had all day every day just to devote myself to losing weight, I could. However, I would get kicked out the first hour because I can't seem to stay away from work. I am off today and already had a friend from Ameren try to tell me to get lost, I was supposed to be on staycation. I guess I hadn't explained to anyone (including myself) that staycation includes staying in touch with work.

So, Day 1 of my Staycation, (actually day 1.5, because I started a project yesterday just because we didn't have church last night). I emptied my upright freezer, sorted the food in it, took the good stuff to one of the freezers in the basement and threw the old stuff out, and defrosted that freezer, that was all last night. This morning, I worked on putting stuff back in the upright, and then sorting the other two. I stopped though because I have a lot of stuff to go to the trash :-(, (veggies from '12 and '13) and was afraid I would run out of trashcan space. Will do the rest a couple of bags at a time. I also cleaned my canned food area, noticed I am completely out of my homemade meat sauce (come on tomatoes!), and cleaned the area around my treadmill, bike and weight machine. I am making plans for Thursday afternoon to clean up the rest of that area.  I actually changed my vaca to all day today and Friday, half days Tuesday and Thursday and all day Wednesday.

It is almost noon and I am really tired of going up and down the stairs. So, going to clean up, eat lunch, run some errands, get some stuff ready for a friend to come and pick up and then, maybe, just maybe, I may relax for a bit before either guy gets home for dinner.

Happy Monday, oh and I mentioned a summer bucket list; my list has now officially become "just get through the next day". I am truly looking forward to things being in a state where I really can take a week off and not worry about things.

Memorial Day, 2015

First and foremost, I want to give remembrance to those who have died serving our county. That is what this day is truly about. Although I am always thankful for those who have served, this day was originally set aside to remember those who died in the Civil War, it was to be observed on May 30th. This was the day you were to go to the cemetery and decorate their graves., hence the original "Decoration day". Even if you didn't have family members at the cemetery who had served, you decorated your loved ones graves. It is rumored that this was decided for this day because so many flowers would be in bloom at this time. In 1971, it was decided to change the date to the last Monday in May and call it Memorial Day, honoring all fallen soldiers. My mom still complains that "if we would celebrate it when we were supposed to". I always giggle a little at this, she doesn't like change. The thing is, up until that time, it was what it was, changing it to the last Monday in May did lend itself to that three day weekend celebration feel.

So, yes, it is a three day weekend, it is the unofficial start of summer, and it is a good time to see friends and family, let's just not forget why you have this day. In 2000, the National Moment of Remembrance was enacted. So, at least at 3:00 this afternoon, you should pause to give thanks for those who've gone before, so you have the freedom to be spending the rest of the day as a relaxing day. I am sure it means different things to different people and that is okay. If you have loved ones close to you that have died in action, by all means, I think you should be remembering them if that is what you want to be doing. Our family really does not, so my day is going to be spent working on projects that need done because I have the day off. My guys are working at the farm today.

This evening, we are cooking ribs on the grill and eating out on the newly cleaned off patio, if I get finished cleaning it and if the weather stays fit, that will be our Memorial Day.

I have been in a blogging mood, just haven't had time to get it down, I am looking for a better app for my pad to translate handwriting to typing. There are times, I would just like to jot down some thoughts, and so far, I haven't found the right combination.

As always, things have been a blur lately. Andrew's dad and his girlfriend came for a visit. I was in Springfield the first two days they were here, Andrew had multiple jobs going on and Robert was working so we mainly saw them of an evening. We normally try to do something at least one day while they are here, but there just wasn't the time. Maybe this fall when they come. This past Friday night I got some much needed friend time as one of my BFF's from High School came and had a sit on the porch. IT was so good to see Tammy and to catch up, wish we could do that more often. On Saturday, we went to Bloomington to celebrate my Uncle Kenny's 80th birthday. It was great seeing everyone and it was just a perfect day. My mom started out life with 3 living brothers and 3 living sisters (she had a brother and two sisters who died in childhood before she was born), it is now down to these 2. I treasure the time we get to spend with them and for them to get to spend with each other.

Robert got exciting news a couple of weeks ago that came to fruition this week, he no longer works on Saturdays. This is great because Andrew normally doesn't work at other people's houses on Saturdays unless he is pushing to get things done. This means now, most Saturdays can be spent on Robert's house. Not to mention the fact that Robert will now be driving to Charleston 5 days a week instead of 6 and making the same amount of money, that in itself was like getting a raise. He has been very involved in helping my mom with the gardening this year. This will all work out well because they won't try to get to the farm after work during the week now, they will concentrate on Saturdays for that, and Robert and Mom can work in the garden; so it's good for all of us that this happened. It is on a trial basis through the summer so we are all really hoping it stays this way.

Andrew has been keeping busy, not quite as busy as we would like but for the business just being 9 months old, I don't think we can complain. We had our first yard sale, which went well. We are doing the national road yard sale this coming weekend in Greenup and then whatever didn't sell from that we are pretty much tossing and starting over. I am looking at having a yard sale once a month through the summer. We have so much junk to get rid that I know we can do one a month and have different stuff. I haven't even started on my own attic yet.

I am getting ready to go to Springfield again tomorrow for a LIHEAP Action day. We are taking all the fieldworkers to the Capitol to stand up for our program. We had two bills that directly affect our agency, one was passed last Thursday, and the other one has been given the runaround. We feel it has to be up for vote by Friday, last day of session, or we will lose ground.  I also have a huge amount of computer work to get done in the next couple of weeks. I have 5 new computers that need installed in our office, not to mention the day-in, day-out work of PIPP and the fact that I will probably need to have my implementation plan to the state by the middle of June. I haven't even looked at it yet. Busy, busy, busy.

I am working on a bucket list for the summer. It technically should be finished today but the day is already starting to get away from me, so it may have to be in the works for a few days, once again, a good script to type or a better talk to type would help me immensely.

So, here goes the day.

Happy Memorial Day.